Don’t make the same error I did the other day by mistaking a (used) Fleet Saline ENEMA for Saline Eye Drops! Who knows~ maybe I’ll have X-Ray vision in my right eye now;)
Tag: Funny
Dawn’s Daily Dose of Wisdom
Chick-fil-A Sauce can be added to anything! Sandwiches, Salads, Tuna, Hamburgers, etc. It enhances just about any food item that you enjoy! BAM! You’re Welcome!
I Hate it When!
I HATE it when: I get deodorant on the outside of my shirt and I’m oblivious till late in the day, plus it’s so suppose to be an invisible solid! I get into the shower and find out that my bath soap is practically gone, like melted or shriveled up looking! How does this even…
Tinker Bell or Stinker Bell!
Bath time is normally a moment of relaxation, a time for introspection or just a way to repose after a long week, add a little Moscato and some candles and voila! But, when its time to bathe your cat, it can be downright frightening for you and your furry friend! It’s not an equal playing field, cats have claws and we do not. Tinker Bell’s bath-time didn’t really go…
What does a Q-tip and a Banana have in common?!?!
Apparently my dad…. He jumped into my car the other day with one banana and one Q-tip. I thought that’s odd, the Q-tip part; he literally eats a banana every single time he gets into my car, even if I’m taking him out to eat. I said, “what are you going to do with the…
Peyton Left to Her Own Devices!
My nineteen year old daughter Peyton loves to sing and sounds quite lovely. She’s fortunate she did not inherit her chops from me, as I’m literally the most awful singer on the planet. I’m so pathetic my hubby jokes that I can’t even hold a tune when humming or whistling, now that’s bad with a capital B………A & D! Peyton especially enjoys singing when my hubby…
Funny of the Day!
OMG, what am I going to do with my teenage son! I made homemade chicken & dumplings for lunch today. My son beckoned me to the bathroom door where I heard him eating, so I asked “Logan are you eating chicken & dumplings while in the bathtub?” He answered “Yep, can you bring me more!”…
Give me your~ Bad Mom-ism’s
We all have those days where we just aren’t feeling Mommy-ish. I will preface this by saying; I love my sweet, kind, funny family and cherish being a stay-at-home mom. But in “real life” most days, I and I’m sure you, if you’re being truly honest want to grab your children by their toes and swing…
My Hubby’s Annoying Addiction!
My hubby has a very bad habit, obsession, dare I say, an annoying addiction that we’ve never shared with anyone. I cannot, I will not keep his dirty secret any longer. He repeatedly, incessantly, literally nonstop shows us videos, memes or photos from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram (new fave). You’re probably thinking “Wow, the…
Full Moon, Anyone?
Last evening while driving home, I noticed a full moon. I said to my teenage son sitting next to me, o.k. on the count of 3, we’re are going to howl at the moon
Funny Memory
My family and I were laughing the other day as we recalled a funny memory that I’d like to share and most of you can relate. Picture this SCENARIO~ I’m at work and receive a call from my hubby Ryan whom was home alone caring for our young son, Logan. He shared with me that…
Funny Quote of the Day!
My son Logan, just said “Mom all my childhood stars are getting married, and yours~~~~~~~~~ are croaking!”
You know you’re old when!
While watching a t.v. show the other night, tornado warnings flashed across my program and I thought “Odd, I didn’t know we were having bad weather!” Then after several unfortunate minutes, I realize that I was watching a pretaped program and it was a weather update from a few days ago…..drrrrrrr You look everywhere for your…
Quotes I enjoy!
Don’t live life so seriously peeps:) Enjoy!
Twisted Tuesday!
So my hubby received a call today from Kingston,Jamaica. He answered and the person on the other end said “Yeah mon, this is Publishers Clearinghouse!”~ My hubby stopped him right there realizing it was a scam and said “Publishers Clearinghouse isn’t in Jamaica mon and hung up, laughing!”
Happy 70th Birthday Mama!
70 today but just 21 in celsius. Woot! Have a blessed day, but I’m sure you will, because I, Dawn the Great will be with you….I love, love, love you very much! You’re are the best lookin’ 70 year old I’ve seen.
I HATE it when!
1. I get cheese stuck under my finger nail. 2. A bowling ball smushes one or all of my fingers. 3. My hubby’s light bulb goes out in his lamp on his side of the bed and days go by with no change. Doesn’t it bother him?????? 4.When a commercial comes on five times louder than the original tv…
Daughters Quote of the Day!
Peyton showed me a YouTube video and said “How can this guy transform himself into Snoop Dog and I can’t even cover up a simple zit!”Hilarious…
Twisted Tuesday
My hubby (nasty from kayak fishing) surprised me last night and brought his “daily catch” into our bedroom~ lucky me….I had to take a photos because~ who really does that!!?!!! The fish smell lingered a while, EW!
Is this WEIRD?
To this day my parents like to joke and tell me they found me in a basket on their doorstep when I was a baby:( Is this WEIRD? I can answer that myself, YES it’s weird…………
Hubby’s just don’t know when to quit………
Let me catch you up to speed on yesterday’s brutal attack on my psyche~ I’ve had severe lower back pain for three days in a row, so much so I’ve had to resort to my dads back brace, Blue Emu cream and multiple Ibuprofen every 4-6 hours to function upright. My hubby has called me…
Is this WEIRD?
I said “Hey Peyton, look at those hay bales, don’t you just want to tackle one of them? “NO” she said, then I said “They look fun, what about shoot an arrow in the center of one? “NO” she said once again, what about a karate kick, now that would be fun. “No, I don’t want to do any…
I HATE it WHEN!
1. Someone drags their feet (shoes) across the floor and it makes that swish, swish, swish noise! I call it a lazy walking….pick up those feet. 2. I’m retrieving groceries from my car and the Coke Zero 2 liter bottle rolls out the back of the trunk, all the way down the driveway…
Daughters Quote of the Day!
“I don’t just want any Fanny-pack, I want a sporty looking one!” Peyton’s Quote of the Day.
Logan’s Quote of the day!
“No one should wear fedora’s, unless you lived in the 1940’s or you’re a detective!”
Twisted Tuesday!
Late last night my daughter and I heard two extremely loud noises in a row, enough so that I jumped out of the bed to look out my window~ while my hubby laid soundly asleep clueless (my hero.) My daughter ran into my room and met me at my window, what was it we asked…
Questions I Asked My Hubby (Facebook)!
WITHOUT ANY prompting, ask your boyfriend/husband these questions and write down EXACTLY what they say. That’s exactly what I did and these are the words right out of his mouth:() 1. What is something your wife always says to you? Move, I’ve gotta go to the bathroom 2. What makes your wife happy? Going on…
Is this WEIRD?
My hubby went into Harbor Freight Tools for a pair of wire strippers (even though he probably has a million pairs around the house) and he came out with wire strippers, a machete and a dog bed! Is this WEIRD?~ YES, YES IT IS!!!!!
I hate it WHEN!
1. My iron cord doesn’t stay wrapped around the iron properly and becomes unraveled, annoying. 2, I’m watching a scary movie and a dumb woman falls down and gets, eaten, raped or killed, Why does it always have to be a woman. 3. I accidentally jump on the bottom of a garden hoe and the…
Who needs this many white socks?????
My hubby, this is craziness…….
Daughters Unsolicited Suggestion
Apparently I’ve been wearing my make up all wrong, my daughter not so politely told me today. She said, It looks like I don’t wear make up at all, so why do I even bother to do it. She said my face looks the same with or without make up on because I do…
I LOVE it WHEN!
An elderly person has a surprisingly kick ass ringtone!
Is this WEIRD?
I sometimes sit in my SUV in my garage because my house is to cold and I need to warm up fast, it’s comfy and warm? Is this WEIRD?
I was bored soooooooo~
I decided to put my makeup on without even looking, not to bad~ maybe I’ll do it more often:()
My Teenagers~Quote of the Day!
After my son’s surprise Mickey head art on Grand Theft Auto (so thoughtful), my daughter started making fun of his actual character on the game and he said “My gosh Peyton you bully me so much, now your even bullying my character on GTA!” Then they both laughed…..Oh the joy of teenagers:()
I HATE it when!
1. Your sock is half off your foot around the heel area in your running shoe~ during a race. 2. I think my sons orthodontist appointment is one day and it’s actually the next. 3. I found out my teenage son had previously drawn vulgar images on his chalkboard closet door, but erased them before I saw them….. 4. My hubby gripes about…
Is this WEIRD?
One day as a joke at my expense my hubby hid a scary mask from the movie SCREAM in my closet, so when I opened it~ I would (fill in the blank) S _ _ _ _ M! He positioned it so it looked like it was coming at me….. BRAVO, well done~ he enjoyed a double show…
Hubby~ Creeper?
Let me start by saying my hubby loves to sneak up on me any chance he gets. So one day, I was in my master bath and thought I heard him creeping in the house to scare me. So I yelled out “I know you’re there CREEPER!” After a few seconds he didn’t…
Bonus Surprise at Daddy’s Doctor Appt!
It was a gorgeous Tuesday morning, which I guess made an ideal day for my dad’s annual checkup. I was with the usual road-dog gang; mom (69), dad (82) and moi’ (age is just a #). We arrived after fifteen minutes and waited in the lunch room, just kidding the WAITING room for my dad’s appointment time. Nothing out of…
Marriage Dream Come True!
My hubby said come with me to the garage as he held this large rod/pole in his hand, I said Why? He said, I just rewired the drill and want you to hit me with this in case it shocks me. I said, Gladly~Dream Come True! P.S. He didn’t get shocked, but I hit…
Crappy Day~Literally!
Nothing starts your day off crappy than an overflowed toilet and I do mean CRAPPY! LOL…. P.S. Even more ironic/funny when you find a toilet image on Google images……..(funny in itself)………. and try to save it as your image for a blog post and realize you can’t use “toilet” as the file name because you already have one named…
Me likey!
Me likey this fortune better than yesterday’s, a lot better! I swear, I’m not going through multiple fortune cookies for just the right fortune either, because that would be just plain sad:(
Wonder Why my Daddy’s late to his Dr’s Appt?
He forgot his toothies and had to go back home to retrieve them! True story, Haha……
I hate it WHEN
My children drink out of the communal two liter bottle of soda~ then I pour in glass not knowing! Yuck , kid cooties:(
I hate it when!
Brushing my toothies and out of nowhere a large amount of saliva mixed with toothpaste shoots out of my mouth and onto my blouse, scarring it for the rest of the day or changing my clothes altogether…
My hubby’s quote & Is this WEIRD?
I asked my hubby for help today for my Is this WEIRD post, he said “Yeah, think about everything you’ve done the past 24hrs and post it!” HAHAHA
I hate it WHEN!
1. A long piece of my hair is stuck on my shirt causing my arm to itch. 2. Every single piece of technology I own is dead. 3. My charging cord is frayed at one end. 4. My cat wants rubbed and I’d rather her rub my back for a change. 5. My dog Riley sheds…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 