OMG, what am I going to do with my teenage son! I made homemade chicken & dumplings for lunch today. My son beckoned me to the bathroom door where I heard him eating, so I asked “Logan are you eating chicken & dumplings while in the bathtub?” He answered “Yep, can you bring me more!”…
Tag: comedy
-CHECK!
Align,Probiotic—CHECK Fiber One—CHECK Cardizem—CHECK Gummy Vitamin—CHECK (yes, gummy-YUM) OLD WOMAN—CHECK,CHECK!!!!
I HATE it when #41!
1. I open a can with the can opener & the juice from the can spills all over my granite countertops, especially gross when its tuna! 2. I try to grab a glass out of my cabinet & there all in the dishwasher (clean, but in the dishwasher). 3. When sewing & my bobbin runs out…
I HATE it when #36
1. The drawer pulls on my kitchen cabinets are loose & no one fixes them, but me. Righty tighty lefty loosey:) 2. Both DVD players in my car don’t have sound, rendering them completely useless! 3. I have the sniffles in church & no kleenex on me. 4. I’m in a drive thru line & I hand them money & drop it in-between the window &…
Is this WEIRD?
If my McDonald’s bag doesn’t feel heavy when I leave the drive-thru, I’m sad:((( I hate when I get shorted fries, especially when I pay extra for super-size…Is this Weird?.
You know your a Redneck when!
You pick your teeth….. from a catalog!
“Dear Abby” Daddy–REALLY!
My dad ran in the store earlier today, he came out & my mom said “What did you go in for?” He said “Dear Abby snack cakes” We laughed & said “You mean, Little Debbie snack cakes!”
My Dad loves finding little treasures!
My funny, kid at heart, 79 year old dad loves, loves, loves to pick up just about anything he see’s on the ground! Sometimes it’s a diamond ring or two, coins, & sometimes its just plain trash & other times— WELL…. While at the Wal-Mart the other day My dad, daughter & I had our hands full of cheese, hot dogs & ant hotels—my…
Mom behaving badly?
My son & I were picking up dinner at Little Caesars tonight. I was so upset I couldn’t find my party pack coupon (4 pizzas, 2 liter drink + crazy bread) so I was digging in my purse, my car, everywhere. I just had it this freaking coupon! I went ahead & just gave Logan the money to pick it…
Quote of the day!
“My body is my temple, my temple needs redecorated!” Joan Rivers talks about another makeover…..
Quote of the day!
Daughter said, I wouldn’t have chosen computer classes at school momma. My son said “Respect the tech!”
I hate it when #8
1. I have to clean my hairbrush & people you are supposed to do that! 2. People put their toilet paper on wrong, the pull tab is supposed to be over top! 3. You drop your last piece of something delicious on the floor longer than the 30 sec rule & you eat it anyway! 4. I…
Carpooling & Orange cones
Everyday I drop off & pick up my child at school. They have large, bright orange cones set out in a special pattern for carpoolers’ to follow (so us ding-dong, mothers in the giant vehicles, don’t hit a kid) doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. But somehow every single day, the orange cones are spread…
Is this WEIRD #1
A few weeks ago, we found the perfect costume for my son Logan, he loves hot dogs, it’s a running joke everywhere we go fancy restaurant or not, he eats them. So when we saw the Hot Dog Costume, it was a perfect fit. Picture this, we’re driving home from picking up this marvelous weiner creation & like any kid, with a…
I LOVE it when #2
1. Everything is going my way 2. My kids don’t make D’s & F’s. 3. While on phone with my cell phone provider they don’t switch me to nine different people from nine different countries. 4. My pen has ink. 5. I have a funtastic trip to plan. 6. My son forgets his trombone at…
I hate it when #7
1. I open a brand new bag of chips & there broken up in little pieces. 2. I trip in public & act like it was someone elses fault so I don’t look so stupid, in essence looking more stupid. 3. I drip toothpaste while brushing my teeth on scarf or shirt. 4. People butt dial…
Quote of the day!
My hubby looked at me sincerely & said ” If it were you & my driver (golf) hanging off a cliff, I would reach for you first!” bout’ ready to trade that driver in anyways!” Ryan 38
I hear the Jersey Shore house
Is up for rent, for the bargain price of $2500 a night, are the cooties, crabs & crawlies included! YUCKY……… Related articles ‘Jersey Shore’ fans can rent house for $2,500 per night (nj.com)
Plumber & Paw paw “I’ll take one for the team!”
The plumber was visiting my dads house a few years ago. Regular occurrence in the neighborhood because it was built around Pecan orchards. I was over visiting, no big surprise. The plumber was snaking the drains, toilets, whatever plumbers snake & he finally figured out the problem. Mean while, I was sitting at the table enjoying a nice…
It all started with the Eye Doctor!
Image via Wikipedia The day began so normal, even for me. I had a eye exam and my parents & I were going to fit some flu shots in at our doctor down the street, so they decided to drive me, since my eyes were being dilated. They picked me up 20 minutes before the appointment, I realized on the way there,…
I Hate it when #6
1. You’re drying your hair in the bathroom & the hairbrush flies out of your hand & into the toilet. 2. I poke my gums with a Doritos chip. OUCH! 3. The electricity goes off during one of my favorite show’s finale’s. 4. Rolling up the bottom of the toothpaste. 5. Kids put dirty dishes back in…
I LOVE it When #1
1. I witness a good deed 2. My children are kind to one another. 3. I jump on a trampoline & my pee pee doesn’t leak out. 4. It rains early evening, but not too much as to knock out the cable. 5. At a Doctor’s visit, the Dr. actually see’s you at your appointment time….
Sewage Survivor!
One day my brother, hubby & I were at Stoner Park bike riding. It was a great day till I yelled out “Come on slow pokes” and rode ahead, right into a giant puddle of sewage that stopped me in my tracks. It flew all in my mouth, hair, socks & shoes & all over my bike. I literally…
Daddy & the “Stanky leg”
My hubby chased my daughter around the house today, threatening that he was practicing & perfecting the “STANKY LEG” for when he & I chaperone the next High School dance. She was horrified, it was wonderful! Good times, good times!
Paw paw & his albino opossum (Y’all that’s possum’ for us southern folk)
My dad had an albino opossum visiting his home on a regular basis, he would leave food out, watch for him & before we knew it, this blossoming opossum friendship had turned into part of the family. On our last trip to Hot Springs two weeks ago, my dad was telling me all about my new brother “the opossum” what he…
Quote of the day!
Make your haters, your Congratulators! Jerseylicious Related articles Haters/ by Maya Angelou (jeuneafriqueza.wordpress.com)
Quote of the day!
If you can weave it, you can achieve it! Jerseylicious Related articles To Weave or Not to Weave…. (vintagefashionjunkie.wordpress.com)
I hate it when #5
1.) Your bra get twisted inside the washing machine & you can’t untwist it. 2.) Little People Big World series went off air. 3.) I have a knot in my shoes laces. 4.) and my kids have knots in both theirs. 5.) I enjoy Jerseylicious. 6.) I pull up at Dairy Queen & they’re out of ALL combo’s (no lie). I was thinking…
Quote of the day!
Lint in your belly button, a belly booger! Logan 12 THIS PICTURE WAS FOUND ON FLICKR, IT IS NOT MY ACTUAL BELLY BUTTON, (mine is hairier with pink lint) LOL, hahaha, It is an unpaid, lint infested, belly button, also I hope this person put the lint there as a joke, cause that’s GROSS! Related articles An Easy Way To Clean The…
Quote of the day!
We don’t call Supernanny, we whoop a fanny! Phoebe
7 Wonders of Ridiculousness!
The 7 Medieval Wonders of the world should include MOTHERS? Its Ridiculousness, they didn’t! 1. Can The Great Wall of China while driving, reach its arm under the 3rd row back seat & over a screaming child to find their babies lost, favorite binky. Ridiculousness 2. Could the Colosseum put up with the amount of sibling warfare or pure drama our kids bring us, on a regular basis. Ridiculousness 3….
