My hubby looked at me sincerely & said ” If it were you & my driver (golf) hanging off a cliff, I would reach for you first!” bout’ ready to trade that driver in anyways!” Ryan 38
Tag: Funny
I hear the Jersey Shore house
Is up for rent, for the bargain price of $2500 a night, are the cooties, crabs & crawlies included! YUCKY……… Related articles ‘Jersey Shore’ fans can rent house for $2,500 per night (nj.com)
Plumber & Paw paw “I’ll take one for the team!”
The plumber was visiting my dads house a few years ago. Regular occurrence in the neighborhood because it was built around Pecan orchards. I was over visiting, no big surprise. The plumber was snaking the drains, toilets, whatever plumbers snake & he finally figured out the problem. Mean while, I was sitting at the table enjoying a nice…
My son asked me!
Have you ever forgotten to put deodorant on one pit? My answer, NO, weird!
You know your kids are bad! (not mine)
When at Home Depot your given a paint stick by the employee & your not buying paint! haha
It all started with the Eye Doctor!
Image via Wikipedia The day began so normal, even for me. I had a eye exam and my parents & I were going to fit some flu shots in at our doctor down the street, so they decided to drive me, since my eyes were being dilated. They picked me up 20 minutes before the appointment, I realized on the way there,…
I Hate it when #6
1. You’re drying your hair in the bathroom & the hairbrush flies out of your hand & into the toilet. 2. I poke my gums with a Doritos chip. OUCH! 3. The electricity goes off during one of my favorite show’s finale’s. 4. Rolling up the bottom of the toothpaste. 5. Kids put dirty dishes back in…
I LOVE it When #1
1. I witness a good deed 2. My children are kind to one another. 3. I jump on a trampoline & my pee pee doesn’t leak out. 4. It rains early evening, but not too much as to knock out the cable. 5. At a Doctor’s visit, the Dr. actually see’s you at your appointment time….
Sewage Survivor!
One day my brother, hubby & I were at Stoner Park bike riding. It was a great day till I yelled out “Come on slow pokes” and rode ahead, right into a giant puddle of sewage that stopped me in my tracks. It flew all in my mouth, hair, socks & shoes & all over my bike. I literally…
Snow Cones & Clowns
Is it normal for two Clowns & a Snow Cone lady to live within a few blocks from my home? Related articles World Clown Association (iloveclowns.wordpress.com)
Daddy & the “Stanky leg”
My hubby chased my daughter around the house today, threatening that he was practicing & perfecting the “STANKY LEG” for when he & I chaperone the next High School dance. She was horrified, it was wonderful! Good times, good times!
Paw paw & his albino opossum (Y’all that’s possum’ for us southern folk)
My dad had an albino opossum visiting his home on a regular basis, he would leave food out, watch for him & before we knew it, this blossoming opossum friendship had turned into part of the family. On our last trip to Hot Springs two weeks ago, my dad was telling me all about my new brother “the opossum” what he…
Quote of the day!
You can’t fight with CRAZY! Housewives
Quote of the day!
Make your haters, your Congratulators! Jerseylicious Related articles Haters/ by Maya Angelou (jeuneafriqueza.wordpress.com)
Quote of the day!
If you can weave it, you can achieve it! Jerseylicious Related articles To Weave or Not to Weave…. (vintagefashionjunkie.wordpress.com)
I hate it when #5
1.) Your bra get twisted inside the washing machine & you can’t untwist it. 2.) Little People Big World series went off air. 3.) I have a knot in my shoes laces. 4.) and my kids have knots in both theirs. 5.) I enjoy Jerseylicious. 6.) I pull up at Dairy Queen & they’re out of ALL combo’s (no lie). I was thinking…
Hubby & Tampax
I don’t use coupons often, but my sis gave me a coupon for tampax, $1.00 off, SCORE! Since I’ve been watching extreme couponing, I thought that dollar would be a great beginning, you have to start somewhere right! I was busy one evening and asked my hubby to run grab me some items from the store,…
Quote of the day!
We don’t call Supernanny, we whoop a fanny! Phoebe
I hate it when #4
When someone spits a wad of toothpaste in just cleaned bathroom sink. At a fast food restaurant, I pay for Super size fries and only receive half. I drop a whole roll of toilet tissue in the toilet, and its my last one. My hubby tells me how to drive & he’s had more traffic…
When hubby is asleep, the wife will play!
My hubby falls asleep hours before me every evening. So I usually get plenty of quality ME time. Some evenings it’s like I’m having my very own slumber party in our room, all centered around my sleeping hubby in our bed. Don’t worry this isn’t a freaky kind of story, he wishes. He doesn’t realize it, but after he’s fallen…
Politically correct, to the EXTREME!
Don’t you feel this world is becoming to politically correct? What happened to our first amendment right, freedom of speech, our own speech. You constantly have to watch what you say, as not to offend. Its more than just speech, its filtering down to our children in other forms and really making them a bunch of pansies. Kids…
Price increase again!
On stamps, I didn’t know anyone still used them! Stone age……. That reminds me, remember green stamps? Talk about stone age! I miss my green stamp store & TG&Y stores. #reminiscing
Calgon take mommy away #1!
It’s hard to be a mommy sometimes, it doesn’t matter what age your kids are, it doesn’t get easier. No one ever tells you this, not your mom, grandma or even your neighbor. Books aren’t much help either, they make it sound as if raising kids is a joy, pleasure, even at times easy, like…
I hate it when #2
I accidently break something and still have to clean it up. I run into my garage wall with my car. When you gotta go number 2 and your traveling in the Mojave desert section of Route 66. Someone puts the shredded cheese bag with literally two pieces of cheese, back in the fridge. Same goes for the pantry, 3 half broken chips left…
Poems
Poems.
Hawaii & WDW
This February my family is traveling to Disney’s Aulani Resort in Oahu, Hawaii. It will be our first trip to the beautiful island, and were thrilled. Also in March (Spring Break) I will be taking the kids on our first WDW trip without my hubby, so that should be interesting. We will be staying at the…
Quote of the day
Its all fun and games until we’re feeding your momma thru a straw. Ryan 38
Black thongs & third grade
Let me start off by saying, I don’t ever wear thongs. I only own one or two pairs just so my hubby can’t say all my panties look like parachutes, joke. Just the other day he said “Hey Dawn, your parachutes are showing”, I just like to be comfortable…… Well about four years ago my son was in third grade, and I was his…
Sasquatch
My mother Christina 65 & daughter Peyton 14 were carrying on a very important conversation, while riding in my car tonight. It went something like this “No meme, sasquatches are lazy people that live in the woods, I hate lazy people!” and my mother actually replied “Leave sasquatches alone, they didn’t do anything wrong!” and the sad thing is,…
Pie in face!
Have you ever wanted to throw a pie in someones face, you know like in the movies, or old comedy skits. Well one day while my dear, sweet hubby was working hard mowing the lawn, I decided that today was the day, cease the opportunity, right! I grabbed a pie from the freezer and waited patiently behind…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 