Calgon take mommy away #1!

Image by PhylB via Flickr

It’s hard to be a mommy sometimes, it doesn’t matter what age your kids are, it doesn’t get easier. No one ever tells you this, not your mom,  grandma or even your neighbor. Books aren’t much help either, they make it sound as if raising kids is a joy, pleasure, even at times easy, like a monkey could do it. Well I’m no monkey, just a real life mom of two, who at times, feels like I’m in the zoo, of motherhood or CRAZYtown, all the same. It’s really tuff to be a mom, you should go thru a boot camp & get a degree for it, sometimes I want to jump in my bath and scream “Calgon take mommy away–really far away–a tropical island wouldn’t hurt-or maybe another planet.”

Parenting guides don’t tell you that someday’s your kids will turn into Dr jekyll & Mr hyde. You can’t reason with them, and all the logic in the world won’t change the fact that they will scream “I hate you,” more than 10 times a week (they will, u might not hear them). Sometimes you will  just stand there, scratching your head, thinking “AHHHHH, DUHHHH what just happened” as your child runs through the house chasing one another with a big stick or throws a head of lettuce down the grocery isle like a baseball, while dodging a few elderly people on walkers. Only this is not a game, it’s real life, and there are no do-overs, take backs, you definitely know GOD had a sense of humor when he created children. You will lose all sense of patience & decorum when grabbing the back of of your childs shirt, hair, skin or whatever it is you can reach, anything just to stop them from running down the isle at church to topple their sibling for a favorite pew.

Do you give your child the “EYE” like I do, or the “PINCH” like my mother would me, FYI, it really doesn’t work, they just laugh at us. A constant parade of confusion clouds our thought process constantly, and our hubbies have the audacity to ask us why we’re sooo tired or why we don’t want  lovin” that night. LISTEN hubbies everywhere, mothers don’t feel to sexy when they have goo in their hair,  brown chunky stuff on the side of their face, kids school project laid out across the table while another child  is tugging at our leg to give them money, help, attention. Lord, how do we do it, we are WONDER WOMEN for sure, we should have more than one holiday, and men, they really don’t need  a designated lazy day with a gift. We’re your gift, everyday, right ladies!  Kids aren’t naughty 24/7, they can be loving, gentle, kind &  fun to be around , but not for very long——– so “Calgon take mommy away!”