Tag: Funny
Hilarious moment today!
My hubby walked down the hallway today, carrying his salad–all of a sudden I heard what sounded to be a salad mishap all on the floor, I yelled out “Did you spill your salad all over the floor?” he replied “Yes, I did!” at the same time his cellphone went off & Siri said “I figured as…
Is this WEIRD?
I hide nuts from my family, (not the fact, I’m nuts, lol) particularly Cashews & Pistachio’s! Is this WEIRD?
I HATE it when #44
1.One of the kids rip the potato chip bag- all the way to the bottom, not enough chip clips in the world could save it! 2. “Words with Friends” buddies nudge me, sorry! 3. I painted my kids closets with chalkboard paint for fun & aesthetically pleasing & one of their friends drew something obscene on it. I should have painted…
Logan’s funny “Quote of the day!”
Yesterday, my hubby commented on what a sloppy eater our son is & his response”That’s why I’m going to take my first date to a really FANCY chicken tender place!”
Quote of the Day!
“When going to the bathroom in ski boots, you’re in the absolute perfect squat stance!” Just thought I should share…
Logan’s Bathtub request!
I walked past the bathtub today & my son yelled out “Mama, bring me my sword & my laptop!” Odd request….he didn’t get either.
Quote of the day!
In the hospital yesterday my dad said to my mom “I feel like my entire body’s been shocked!” My mom said “It was—-literally!” (He had a cardio version that morning)
Romantic Birthday Poem from my Hubby (few yrs ago)
“She cooks, she cleans and makes dresses, that’s why baby, you’re the bestest!” Hilariously sweet and no- he’s not five:)
I HATE it when #43
1. I come up with a brilliant idea after the fact. 2. I can’t get a lid off a jar or cap off a soda. 3.I squeeze the ketchup & it spews all over the place & makes that weird annoying noise. 4. Someone (kids) puts the empty butter container back in the fridge- nothing like…
Quote of the day! Only in the South
“Let’s hurry, I don’t like seeing a man in a trench coat at a gun show- especially when its 67 degrees!” Hubby Quote (not hubby in picture)
Gesture of ENDEARMENT!
It’s the little things that are romantic to me-This morning for instance; my hubby walked into our room before leaving for work to tell me I forgot to add toilet paper to the shopping list yesterday. WAIT– that’s not the romantic part, THIS is– he brought the remaining toilet paper out of our main bathroom…
Quote of the day!
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once!
Is this WEIRD?
Every single day– I trip over my laptop cord & I do this ridiculous stare down at it –like I have powers that are going to MELT the cord–you know to let it know I’m furious with it. Is this WEIRD?
Hubby & the Bible!
Hubby & I were talking on the phone to each other, as we usually do as a married couple & he announced out of the blue “Ewww, poor guy- he’s so ugly. You know Dawn, in the Bible when it said something like your body is a temple- treat it well, its your carrier to life…
Odd place for dog poop!
Nothing like smelling dog poop when waking up in the morning. I looked all over my room, I even asked the dog, she was tight-lipped. I didn’t see it anywhere-went back to bed & couldn’t get the smell out of my nostrils, I finally gave up & fell back to sleep. When I awoke, the…
No Zombies!
I said “Logan, get off your video games & come spend time with me & daddy?” He said “No, there are no zombies to kill with y’all!” Awesome Sauce
Quote of the Day!
You’re one chromosome away from being a potato! Golden Girls
I HATE it when #42?
1.I plug-in my laptop to charge, then it becomes unplugged from laptop, then wall, then middle of cord connecting the two, frustrating. Oh, it’s also real fun, when I trip over the entire thing once its fully plugged in. Damn it 2. I get car sick, actually happens a lot! 3. I get a pedicure…
Sweet “Finding NEMO” Quote from my hubby!
My hubby held his phone up to me, with a quote on it–“You’re my Nemo, if you got lost in the big blue ocean- I’d come find you!” I said “Awwwww, I’m your NEMO!” then he ruined the moment by saying “You got it wrong, it said “You’re my IGMO!” Sweet moment lost!!!!WAH
I LOVE it when #26
1. I’ve had my first cup of coffee in the morning, still not a morning person. 2. I’m People watching, so fun! Right ladies? 3. I laugh at myself, it happens a lot-big surprise! 4. I’m on a low carb diet & actually enjoying the food. 5. My laundry is caught up & I find money…
Is This WEIRD?
I watch the Golden Girls every night, to try & lull myself to sleep! It never works , I definitely have the worst sleeping habits known to any human, but it makes me feel homey! Is this WEIRD?
What do the words-Morbid, Brownies & kids have in common?
While visiting the cemetery today, I shared my “Funeral” wishes with my teenagers. “When I croak, I want cremated & sprinkled in areas that are special to me.” (not legal-shh) My daughter was totally against the idea of me being cremated – a little shocked because she revels in torturing me here on earth/why not in death- just…
Peytons Accomplishment verses Logan’s surprise at the DMV
At the DMV the other day, waiting for my daughter to physically get her Drivers License, I noticed everyone had an extra cup or two of CRAZY, as if we were at Wal-Mart, my family included. Nearing the 2nd HOUR of our “INTERESTING” standing room-only wait, we witnessed all sorts of folks from youngin’s to old…
Is this WEIRD?
I can chew an entire pack of big red gum (really any gum)& swallow it all – just wanted you to know, woot! When I was little my mom told me if I kept swallowing gum, when I had a baby, it would stick to me—-She LIED! woot woot! Is this WEIRD?lol
I HATE it when #41!
1. I open a can with the can opener & the juice from the can spills all over my granite countertops, especially gross when its tuna! 2. I try to grab a glass out of my cabinet & there all in the dishwasher (clean, but in the dishwasher). 3. When sewing & my bobbin runs out…
Dorky things I do!
I multi-task so often, sitting on the toilet has become quite the chore–I’m constantly finding things to clean, straighten or fix while doing you know what! Weird I know……
Is this WEIRD?
Yesterday, I told my son to change into warmer clothes to come with me to the store being the temperature was 37 degrees, so he changed from a t-shirt & khaki slacks with no shoes into blue shorts, the same t-shirt, SLIPPERS & last but definitely not least a Batman winter mask/hat! REALLY….
Disney or Bust
Disney or Bust We persuade peeps to go to Disney all the time. No matter at church, kid’s performance or the grocery line. We’re Disney dorks to the core. No need for apples here, just give us a Dole Whip or Mickey Bar and we’ll chEAR. Our friends ask~ Why Disney, are you sick and…
Hubby “sense of smell”
While putting up Christmas lights on the roof yesterday–my hubby said “Something smells awful” I said “Did you fart?” No, he replied -“Did you put deodorant on? Of course, you know I did– “Did you smell your upper lip?” Now your just being stupid…Then he yells out “Oh shit!” I said “you shit?” He said…
Is this WEIRD?
When my kids want to earn extra money, I have them rub my feet! That either deters them from the question or they rub my feet, It’s a win-win for me!!!!!WOOT,, Is this WEIRD?
Our “NUN” Car Convo
While driving to dinner this evening, I noticed what I thought to be a Nun through my rear view mirror. I said to my kids “Is that a nun behind us?” no I thought– it couldn’t be, she has flashy earrings on. I also don’t think nuns would have something hanging off their rear view mirror, unless it was a cross! “My…
You know your Redneck WHEN!
You type emails & text messages in slang, like “NAW!” You’re a Redneck!!!!
This is GROSS!
While biking one day with my hubby & brother, I decided to take a shortcut, right into sewage, it literally stopped me in my tracks & shit splattered all over my arms, face & ponytail. GROSS!
Is this Weird?
When my hubby is asleep, I lay things on top of him, like fabric, magazines, etc. & when he rolls over or moves abruptly–I’m annoyed & tell him “Stop wiggling!” Is this WEIRD?
I HATE it when #40!
1. I tug on the toilet paper in a public restroom & one microscopic piece breaks off at a time, all while hovering over the commode…..Gross 2. I have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes & find out I have NO dish tabs! 3. My Chihuahua “Riley” is outside basking in the sunlight & two extremely ogre sized German…
Is this WEIRD?
The day I went into labor, I played nine holes of golf with my hubby, Is this WEIRD? Actually my game was better, because my tummy was my guide, best golf I ever played!
You know you’re CHEAP when?
I’m playing WORDS WITH FRIENDS & the silly advertisement plays after every single move I make….I’m sick of Ryan Seacrest, Deodorant, Progressive Car Insurance with Flo’s stupid white apron also CreditScore.com singing buffoon commercials, but I’m to cheap to buy the game for $1.99 when I can get it for free, so I guess I will have to gripe…
I HATE it when #39
1. I bite real hard into my juicy food & into the dang fork, it’s worse than nails on a chalkboard to me. 2. My teenage daughter screams for no apparent reason at totally random moments. 3. I get lotion in my wedding ring. 4. My DVR cuts off the end of my T.V. show. 5. My plans change unexpectedly….
Is this WEIRD?
When I was little – I named my Uncles horses “Thunder” & “Lightning” & told friends at school they were mine. Is this WEIRD? (Wishful Thinking)
I HATE it when #38!
1. People forget to put lotion on their elbows–& look like they have elephant skin, gross. 2. I drop food on my shirt, then try to pick it up & it drops to my pants. Not a great way to start the morning! 3. I type a blurb on my iPhone to possibly add to FB, Twitter or a text, not intending to send just…
Hubby’s Disney Tip of day!
Play golf after 3pm on weekdays at WDW. Great way to save money & not too many people on the course….
My Crappy Morning
Woke up at 3:34 am with mild food poisoning, felt like death, fell back to sleep at 6:00am only to wake to the sound of my daughter asking ” Is something burning, I smell fire!” Well of course that got me up -( what kind of mother would I be if I didn’t) my son burnt’…
Dogs gonna get it!
My dog “Riley” chews off her collar or harness any chance she gets. This morning I took her out with a brand new harness on. Somehow she “Houdinied” her way out & ran around the neighborhood almost with a smirk on her Chihuahua face. Picture this—-Me in my jammies chasing her, calling “Here Riley, come here…
I LOVE mowing the lawn!
NOT!!! That’s all I have to say…… P.S. If I had to use the old timey lawn mower (in my picture)–I’d just shoot myself first:( then someone else would have to do it–haha:) BUT then I would be dead & that would suck-really bad…………… Related articles Using Lawn Mower Reviews Efficiently (lawnmowermodels.wordpress.com) Bermuda…
Wow, I’m getting old!
While on the way to church last Sunday, I rubbed lotion all over my hands & arms — then I quickly realized it wasn’t lotion at all, it was conditioner. “I’m OLD” I thought it was odd when my arms turned white with foam, but the smell was pleasant, so I just kept rubbing it on, again…
I HATE it when #36
1. The drawer pulls on my kitchen cabinets are loose & no one fixes them, but me. Righty tighty lefty loosey:) 2. Both DVD players in my car don’t have sound, rendering them completely useless! 3. I have the sniffles in church & no kleenex on me. 4. I’m in a drive thru line & I hand them money & drop it in-between the window &…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 