1. People forget to put lotion on their elbows–& look like they have elephant skin, gross. 2. I drop food on my shirt, then try to pick it up & it drops to my pants. Not a great way to start the morning! 3. I type a blurb on my iPhone to possibly add to FB, Twitter or a text, not intending to send just…
Tag: Humor
Hubby’s Disney Tip of day!
Play golf after 3pm on weekdays at WDW. Great way to save money & not too many people on the course….
Dogs gonna get it!
My dog “Riley” chews off her collar or harness any chance she gets. This morning I took her out with a brand new harness on. Somehow she “Houdinied” her way out & ran around the neighborhood almost with a smirk on her Chihuahua face. Picture this—-Me in my jammies chasing her, calling “Here Riley, come here…
Fun on my son!
Today while making egg salad sandwiches– I thought it would be funny to throw eggs at someone, so I decided on my target-Logan my 13 yr old son……..Hubby & I lured him in the front yard & had at him, so fun—-you should try it!!!!! Related articles Egg Salad is Going the Way of…
I LOVE mowing the lawn!
NOT!!! That’s all I have to say…… P.S. If I had to use the old timey lawn mower (in my picture)–I’d just shoot myself first:( then someone else would have to do it–haha:) BUT then I would be dead & that would suck-really bad…………… Related articles Using Lawn Mower Reviews Efficiently (lawnmowermodels.wordpress.com) Bermuda…
Wow, I’m getting old!
While on the way to church last Sunday, I rubbed lotion all over my hands & arms — then I quickly realized it wasn’t lotion at all, it was conditioner. “I’m OLD” I thought it was odd when my arms turned white with foam, but the smell was pleasant, so I just kept rubbing it on, again…
I HATE it when #36
1. The drawer pulls on my kitchen cabinets are loose & no one fixes them, but me. Righty tighty lefty loosey:) 2. Both DVD players in my car don’t have sound, rendering them completely useless! 3. I have the sniffles in church & no kleenex on me. 4. I’m in a drive thru line & I hand them money & drop it in-between the window &…
My crazy son
I asked my son why he wears a ring (manly), he said “it adds a little fun to my finger!” Haha, ok!
Is this WEIRD?
My kids got mad at me for eating all the marshmallows out of their brand new box of “Lucky Charms” the other day. Looks like I was lucky & they weren’t & “The marshmallows were magically delicious!”lol:) Is this WEIRD?
Is this WEIRD?
When my hubby gets out of bed in the morning, I make it up on his side, even though I’m still in it…Is this WEIRD?
Is this WEIRD?
I still use my “FAVE” Mickey Mouse coffee cup– even though the dishwasher broke the handle off of it*O* Shhh, its our secret!
Bug or Bobby Pin?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something black in my hair, first thought “AHHHHHHH” wasn’t a thought, I lied it was a–half scream. Then I realized it wasn’t a bug, it was just a bobby pin, & I laughed:)
Does this happen or just to unlucky ME?
I walked through my kitchen the other day “la, dee, da, da, da” & all of a sudden I got this extremely sharp pain in my toe, I hopped over to my kitchen chair– screaming “Owie, oh, OW,OW,OW,OW,OW,OW & some other explicit words…….which gained the attention of my son, hubby & actually my teenage daughter,…
Gum Ball – tooth?????
What does a gum ball, nerd candy & a tooth have in common? I chewed a gum ball today & noticed something hard as I chewed, I thought it was nerd candy, but unfortunately, it was not–it was a piece of my tooth! Disgusting:(
Rosacea Diagnosis-
I was recently diagnosed with Rosacea. Picture this, My hubby & I were lying next to one another in bed (head out of the gutter) as I read the Mayo Clinic website on symptoms of Rosacea. I read this out loud: Hubby replies in red. A flushed, red face with sensitive, dry skin that may burn or sting. — He…
Is this Weird?
While grilling in my backyard, I heard my dog chewing on something loudly. Upon further inspection, are you ready for this–it was some kind of JAWBONE, yes I said JAWBONE–with yellow-gnarled up teeth still in tact. OMG I was terrified it was human & we would need CSI, so I snatched it out of my dog’s mouth…
Our Intellectual Conversation!
Walking at the Boardwalk this evening my hubby & I shared a very intellectual, stimulating-conversation, it went something like this: “You know they should have Dancing with the Hobo’s instead of Dancing with the Stars!” I said, —True–Stars have money, hobo’s don’t, that way hobo’s could earn some extra cash & pick up a new hobby/trade….
What’s that smell?
I tried to clean out my car today & smelled this foul odor. So I looked under my seats — thought it could possibly be meat that slid under my seat from a grocery bag (happened before) or worse, a dead squirrel possibly cooked in my engine, my mind was all over the place. (more…
I HATE it when #35!
1. Juice from my veggies runs into other foods on my plate, especially a hamburger bun—Yuck-no one likes soggy buns, hehe. 2. An empty can of Pringle’s is put back in the pantry! 3. My inside dog drags trash out of the kitchen trash can. 4. I hear my outside dog chewing on something loudly as I’m grilling…
Hubby’s Worst Nightmare!
Today, I told my hubby about my new favorite late night T.V. channel, QVC. I went on & on about this Bernini 3 tier patio fountain that I ordered at 2:15 in the morning. As I’m bragging about it being cordless & that it included 6 different water spouts, two different toppers: a pineapple or a planter….He said Wait, wait just a second 2:15 A.M.?–“Nothings worse…
Butterflies in my tummy
In the dollar store earlier today my 79 yr ole’ dad picks up a “Yard Butterfly”, no big deal, right? Then he proceeded to make it fly in a circular motion around his belly & stated, “I have butterflies in my tummy, I have butterflies in my tummy! The crazy things my dad says!
Is this WEIRD?
I arrive home and find myself carrying these items from the car— a red hobo scarf, beans, son’s sweater, ziplock of weenies, & a playbill. Is this WEIRD?
Is this WEIRD?
If my McDonald’s bag doesn’t feel heavy when I leave the drive-thru, I’m sad:((( I hate when I get shorted fries, especially when I pay extra for super-size…Is this Weird?.
You know your a Redneck when!
You pick your teeth….. from a catalog!
Is this WEIRD?
When I was younger, I watched the “Jefferson’s” T.V. show, hold on that’s not the weird part———————— & would eat a bowl of corn everytime, BAM—that was! Not really sure why corn, I think I thought it was sophisticated, yummy! Is this WEIRD? Related articles Corn Crazy (lorielle3636.wordpress.com) The Best Advice About Corn I’ve Ever Written (aroundthenest.com)
Cotton Ball Bathroom
Went #1 (tinkle) in the potty today— then quickly realized after it was toooooo late, I had no toilet paper in the bathroom—so what’s a girl to do. I looked over to see what I had to work with & all I could find while incapacitated were cotton balls. So I grabbed a hand full of them &…
Daughter’s “Quote of the day!”
My daughter walked in our bathroom & noticed tinkle on the seat (brother) & stated “Dog gone it, if you can aim & shoot your enemies on the X-box, then you should be able to make this target!” Peyton Gosdin
Keeping with the RAT theme
My son told me a story (loosely based), it involved a Boy, Gym Class & a Rat, weird combo, huh? In gym class the other day, a kid changed into his gym clothes & a rat jumped out & the boy screamed at the top of his lungs & ran out of the locker room. I don’t know if this…
My “GROSS” find!
This “Dead RAT Surprise” was waiting in my backyard yesterday. So I put my big girl panties on (granny) & put my shirt over my nose (like that was going to protect me from rat cooties) & shoveled it up & into a trashbag, not my fondest hour:( Just hope no other family members are…
One of my MOST embarrassing moments ever (oldie but goodie)
On our recent visit to Disney World a few weeks ago, I experienced one of my most embarrassing moments EVER . The Beach Club Resort was our home away from home on this trip & Concierge Level to boot, ooh la la, or better yet HA HA HA (you’ll see why). 9:45 in the morning…
I LOVE it when! #21
1. My hubby takes care of me when I’m sick! 2. We stay somewhere new at DISNEY “The Beach Club Resort” quickly approaching. 3. I beat the Flu, it doesn’t beat me!!!!!! 4. I have a new vacuum bag in my vacuum! 5. I lose weight from being sick, ONLY plus! 6. I get free stuff, like upgrades!…
I hate it when #33!
1.I bite into something that’s suppose to be soft— like a hamburger & something hard is in it, then I realze its my tooth—I HOPE IT”S MINE! 2. I buy a drink from the drive thru, pull off, take a big swig of it & realize its something totally different. 3. My hubby forgets to take trash out on trash day!…
Lizard Tattoo & Church
Great day for our son to apply a rather large Dragon tat to his hand, right before church! So hilarious!!!!!!!!
Daughter’s Quote of the day”
“Mom, I need to jog with you tonight, my hips just aren’t working for me!” I LMAO!!! Her hips look just fine…….
Not what I expected!!!!
Early yesterday morning – I looked at my cats litter box, I noticed a rather large object. I was alarmed that a delicate cat named Tinkerbelle could have such a gigantic amount of- let’s just say #2. I inspected the situation closer to find, it was not #2 it was my sons sock, just not…
My hubby’s GPS!
My hubby’s GPS asked if he would take unpaved roads for a shorter distance to his job location, he selected YES. While driving down an unpaved road in the middle of nowhere he came upon a road sign that said “Road may be hazardous when creek is up” so he worried a little wooden bridge might be ahead. His…
You know your drunk when!
you vomit your false teeth up & don’t know it — till the next day! True story—-my dad’s best friend… Related articles Types of Dentures (topdentists.com) Fake teeth, hearing aids stolen in east Charlotte break-in (wcnc.com)
You know your a REDNECK when!
Your mailbox is a keg! Related articles LSU’s Keg Stand Granny Now Wearing Branded T-Shirt [VIDEO] (bustedcoverage.com) Adventures in home brewing (redenvelope.com)
You know your a Redneck when!
You decorate your front yard rope swing, with Christmas lights!
Quote of the day!
“Cool, I wish I had two thumbs, so I could grab MORE cheese-balls!” Honey Boo Boo
I HATE it when #32!
1. I purposely don’t pick something off the floor, because I’m waiting to see how long it will take another family member to pick it up. It NEVER EVER happens–I end up picking it up anyways. Then next week I do it again–& I act surprised when its the same outcome. 2. I have to reach my hands in…
Nine Toed Teacher!
My son Logan informed me today that his substitute teacher had only nine toes, she was missing her big toe. I laughed & asked how do you know this? He replied “SHE showed us.” I said, How did she lose her toe? “She didn’t say.” I thought, how strange of a woman teacher to state— that she only had nine…
“Quote of the day!”
My son screamed & my hubby said, “Boy what did I tell you about screaming like a girl! My son Logan replied “Dad if you ate those Chimichangas, your butt would be on fire too!”
Is this WEIRD?
I have three different remotes next to my bed, I know all three so well, I don’t have to look at them to change the channel, use the DVD player or run the DVR! Is this WEIRD?
Mom behaving badly?
My son & I were picking up dinner at Little Caesars tonight. I was so upset I couldn’t find my party pack coupon (4 pizzas, 2 liter drink + crazy bread) so I was digging in my purse, my car, everywhere. I just had it this freaking coupon! I went ahead & just gave Logan the money to pick it…
I LOVE it When #21
1. Women get along & aren’t bitchy with one another..RAISE each other UP girls, not down! 2. My nail polish goes on smoothly & dries quickly. 3. I don’t have to listen to Sofia Vergara, Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek’s voice, if I don’t want to! ICK 4. I hear the song “Over the Rainbow” 5. My…
Q-tips, hair rollers & one sock!
What does a sock, one washcloth with makeup on it, drinking glass from the kitchen, two hair rollers & Stridex pads have in common: They were all laying atop my bathroom counter this morning! Oh & two used Q-tips!!!!!!! Oh the joys of motherhood..Joy, Joy, Joy
Lokea & Hubby????
Yay, I’m so excited! Today while driving my daughter to play practice, I noticed a new store going in a few miles from my home. A bright blue sign said “LOKEA” HMM, I turned around to get a better look & realized it was a “local IKEA” delivery store……I didn’t know they existed, I’m thrilled. Every time I visit my sister…
I HATE it when #31
1. I just put lotion all over my hands & my ear has an itch, happened today! 2. My son yells at the top of his lungs “Blow out the candle, it smells like crap!” —–today 3. When I have many projects at hand, but not sure how to tackle them. 4. When my daughter gets her phone taken…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 