Example of how crazy my life is: my daughter takes things & puts them anywhere & everywhere but the place they belong! So my hubby thought he would make sure she remembered this moment–by leaving his nicely trimmed toenails on her makeup table with this note to possibly teach her a lesson! He wanted to…
Tag: Funny
Dallas+Me+Kids+Grandparents+T.V.=Tooth?
Well, well, well, it has been a very interesting day to say the least. Here’s the visual: On our way to the “Big D”, just 10 minutes into the trip! I’m driving with my mom as my co-pilot & a large bag of candy in between us, Papa & Peyton in second row & my…
Quote of the day
“Don’t be a FUN SPONGE!” House Hunters This lady said her fiance’ sucked the fun out of everything! That’s sad.
Pimp Turtle
I said “Oh no, Logan come quick — your turtle is eating a spider!” He ran in room looked at “Squirt” & replied “It’s because he’s pimp!” Related articles Ziplining Turtle (dawnsdorkydiary.wordpress.com) Turtle Aquarium & Pee pee (dawnsdorkydiary.wordpress.com) Turtle food + vacuum = sock (dawnsdorkydiary.wordpress.com)
Disney “Quote of the day!”
“There is more treasure in books–than in all the pirates’ loot on Treasure Island and at the bottom of the Spanish Main & best of all you can enjoy these riches every day of your life.” Walt Disney
I LOVE it when #15
1. My family & friends receive great results from doctor! 2. I paint my nails & they dry without bumping something first. 3. I beat my hubby at anything: Monopoly, Chess, Words with Friends, any contest, argument, air hockey, video games, trivia–get the hint, so fun.. 4. I sneak off in hubbies jeep & a great song comes…
My Son or Cherry Pies?
I ran in my parents home to retrieve my son while hubby waited in his truck! I came out of the house with two cherry pies & my hubby said “You went in for our son and came out with pies, good trade!” & we gave each other dap! Hahe
I Hate it when #23!
1. I need a clean towel out of the linen closet & its empty! 2. I pick up clothes out of the dryer & as I’m carrying them, they slowly fall one by one out of my hands & onto the floor & as I try to pick them up I drop another. I have two laundry baskets I never seem…
AX–two toed Tommy!
While doing yard work today–my son asked for the ax, I replied “I don’t think sooooo” he said “Come on, I already have guns (shotguns in locked gun cabinet)–what could I possibly hurt?” My hubby replied “AX– two toed Tommy that question!!!!! HEHEHE, so funny..
Logan’s Jujitsu!
My son walked in our room & demanded his dad “Hurry & drive me to school–I know jujitsu! My hubby said, really when did you learn this? Logan replied ” I pulled up a 55 minute video on my IPod last night, but really only watched about 10 minutes of it! I guess it was…
Sucker stick+popsicle stick + bloody bandaid =
Boy’s sleepover! All of these items found on the floor of my den, GROSS!
My Glorious Morning, 5 things that shouldn’t have happened!
It started out at the crack of DAWN (LOL) & a massive headache: 1.) My hubby woke me & informed me, he’s going fishing–BIG No No, it’s so hard for me to go to sleep & when I am, don’t wake me, especially if it’s still dark outside, don’t people write notes anymore. Headache began. 2.)I actually fell back asleep with coaxing…
What does a cat & a boat have in common?
My hubby and I were pulling our boat down our subdivision the other day and a stranger pulled up next to us. Driving next to one another we unrolled our window’s & the stranger asked did we have a black cat, we said no—-WHY? She said one just jumped out of your boat! That’s what…
Is this Weird?
I enjoy hanging out with my parents & I’m 40, they make me laugh! Just thinking about them makes me laugh, is that weird? They’ll really get a kick out of this picture…….LOL!
Embarrassing!
My hubby in store, tired & holding my purse! It doesn’t happen often usually he refuses, I caught him off guard….HAHAHAHA! I think the purse really brings out his eyes..If only his basketball buddies could see him now, JEALOUS…HAHAHAHAHA
L is for Loser
Even sick, my two kiddos find a way to annoy one another & ME. While taking my son’s temperature he looked at the thermometer & said “What’s the 7 mean?” I said its a L, not a 7. He said whats the L stand for & before I could answer, my daughter yells out “LOSER” it stands for…
Ziplining Turtle
My hubby was driving to the golf course & on his way he noticed a sweet turtle- a little late though, well actually way too late–it was under his tire kinda LATE. Before he knew it, he nipped the corner of the turtle’s shell with such force, it catapulted the sweet turtle thru the air & into the woods….
Turtle Aquarium & Pee pee
This morning my hubby walked in our room & said “I’m surprised Logan hasn’t peed in his bed from the noise of the running water from his turtle aquarium!” I stated “I love the noise sounds like a waterfall, it would help me go to sleep.” my hubby said ” Ha, maybe we should move…
Is this WEIRD?
I argue with SIRI on my iPhone 4S?
I LOVE it when #14
1.My sis has a healthy baby girl, my new niece “Marley Vai”! 2. My sis had her baby early & my son CAN attend his girlfriend’s birthday party. Happy 13th Birthday Lexi! 3. I’m sick of eating junk food & ready to start a new low carb diet. 4. I crave something that I actually…
Turtle food + vacuum = sock
My son sometimes throws item’s he doesn’t feel like putting in there rightful place inside his dresser drawer. While looking for a calculator, it’s the first place I chose to look. Instead of a calculator, I found marbles, paint-ball gun, cards, cd’s, batteries & last but not least turtle food which smells funny & by…
I Hate it when # 22!
1. I try to grab a few sheets of toilet paper and only get bits & barely pieces off the roll– while hovering over a public toilet…. 2. I have to go number 2 in a Park bathroom or Rest Area & then to make it worse—there is NO soap– just a sink & hand dryer. That’s why…
“Quote of the day”
” When in doubt, figure it out!” Duck Dynasty Related articles ‘Duck Dynasty’ Premiere: Willie Goes Frog-Hunting And Meets A Snake (huffingtonpost.com)
Poop & Home Depot
I’m shopping with my family at Home Depot, while enjoying the lumber aisle (NOT) I ran over something brown & mushy that stuck to my buggy tire. It took me a second to realize that it was POOP! Probably because you don’t normally see shit on the floor at a store, maybe at the Circus or the Zoo. Every few steps there it was,…
“WATCH OUT!” I told my daughter–
when I’m old & ornery like your papa (always demanding things “Turn off the air.”, ” Get me a sandwich!”), I will act just the same! she replied “You already act like that–NOW!”
Quote of the day!
“If all else fails, hang on to your weave!” Niecy Nash
You know your co-worker is a redneck when!
My hubby showed a co-worker this picture of his latest catch, from fishing recently with our son. In the background of the picture you’ll see a large orange tractor — hubby said “See what I got me, yesterday?” & the co-worker replied “Is that your tractor, man?” Totally ignored the big fish…..
Is this WEIRD?
When I was wee little girl (or teenager), I would lick Doritos & put them back in the bags for my siblings to unknowly eat! HAHAHA, LOL………..Really, I’m so gross….Sorry A.J. & Jenni, How did they taste—SWEETER I’m sure, HA
Thank God fingernail clippings & NOT toenail clippings!
My mother walked up to my father and said “Thank you so much for leaving the three fingernail clipping on the dresser for me, It’s gross! The only thing more gross— if they were toenail clippings!” Ahh my parents, soooo funny.
I LOVE it when #12!
1. We arrive home safely from a nice vacation. 2. I’m eating my favorite candy, Lifesavers gummies, Blowpops, Razzles, any Bubble gum, at once. 3. Subway has foot-long sub’s for $5.00! 4. I finish one vacation & start planning another. 5. My kids are confident! 6. My hubby is joyful. 7. Jeff Lewis new show “Interior…
You know your neighbor’s a redneck when:
He’s mowing his yard in the dark with a flashlight! Its true….just happened this evening…a few streets over but neighbor none the less….
Quote of the day!
“When I go alligatoring, I can’t do without my treble hook!” Willie on Swamp People
Is this WEIRD?
I love– actually crave barbecue wavy lays potato chips with dill pickles, literally put the pickles on the chips with the pickle juice on them! Try it, you would be surprised—-and NO I’m not pregnant… Also try getting cheese nachos & popcorn and dumping the popcorn on the nachos & eat them with the cheese on…
I HATE it when # 20
1. I’m seated on a plane by a stranger for almost six hours and no window on either side of me! 2. The person behind me that I tried not to make eye contact with, is bored in the grocery store line & talks my ear off. 3.My whole family falls asleep at the LAX airport…
Quote of the day!
My son said “Mom, I just want you– to make me feel better!” I said Logan, no one can make you feel a certain way, you chose to feel that way! then he exclaimed “A clown can make you feel better!” HAHAHAHAHAH, then he revised his statement “Nevermind clowns creep people out!”
I awoke this morning to this!
My son jumped on my bed and said “Momma I have a flaming horse with a flaming mane, tail & hooves that lights zombies on fire in Red Dead Redemption, his name is Death Angel!” and left the room.. I’m awake now, time to get up I guess….
I HATE it when #18!
1. I pay for a hefty airline ticket to Hawaii then pay separately for my luggage –$25 first bag–$35 second bag (per person *4) each way RT, as if your going to fly with no luggage…no other option, except pay for first class either way a lot of moola…Holy Corn-meal! 2. My parakeet wakes me up with her…
A new day–missing shoes all together!
The other day, I made the comment “I didn’t see how my son could misplace just one shoe, that I could understand him missing both!” Well, well today’s the day that I find out just how easy it is to lose both shoes. As he is scrambling for school again this morning, he yells out “Missing…
Happy Valentines Day!
Wishing all my wonderful bloggies a truly marvelous “Happy Valentines Day!” Whether you’re in a relationship, married or single on this special day, just know you are loved & appreciated by this bloggie buddy & thought of dearly today & always! BE MY VALENTINE.
I LOVE it when #10!
1. I get upgraded for free to anything without asking, because I will ask, no shame, I embarass my hubby a lot. 2. A fallen hero (military) gets the same amount of gratitude & honor as a drunken, drugged out celebrity, priorities twisted just a bit. 3. My hubby gets to go to the lake house with…
Son’s quote of the day!
Dude, you can saddle a pig & ride him on Minecraft, that’s sooo cool! My hubby added: When I was younger, you could actually saddle a real pig & ride it! I promise he’s NOT from a circus family…….not that anything is wrong with circus people…LOL! Related articles This is What Minecraft Looked Like on its Very First…
I’m NO hula dancer!
Watching with family “Anthony Bourdain’s/Hawaii” and I said “Wow, how do they move their arms in so many places, it looks like their double jointed.” then I tried to move my arms like the beautiful hula dancers, and my hubby & children both said “You look like a bird.” I replied “Awesome, a bird is graceful” My…
Logan’s missing shoe!
I said “Logan we need to go, now!” he replied “I can only find one shoe!” then, I said “How do you lose one shoe, I could understand you losing both, but not one!” he replied “It happen’s momma, it has happened, now find my shoe.” I said “Yes, FOUND IT!” Related articles My son’s NON-listening ear’s! (dawnsdorkydiary.wordpress.com)
My son’s NON-listening ear’s!
My hubby said “Logan get your shoes on, when I get back, you’re picking up sticks in the yard, while I mow!” My hubby exclaimed “Logan, did you hear me, then what did I just tell you to do?” Logan replied “You want me to give you a life jacket while you row!” that’s what Logan heard– when…
My Fair Lady & Top Hats
My daughter told my son “I want my wedding themed like My Fair Lady, and you’ll wear a top hat!” He replied “No, I won’t, I’ll wear one now and walk with a cane!”
My twelve year old son, on FACEBOOK!
My son read his friends Facebook wall out loud & said “Gerald you’re not an artist, just because you rap at recess!”
I LOVE it when #9!
Image by Jeff Hester via Flickr 1. My son has nicely trimmed fingernails & toenails. 2. My upper back doesn’t hurt. 3. I keep my big mouth shut & surprise my hubby! 4. My children are happy! 5. It’s February 1st & 75 degrees. 6. I’m at our jogging/bike trails & everyone on trail is so chill & friendly!…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 