Funniest reference: a teenager was asked by another teenager “Are you going to be a stripper when you grow up?” The girl replied “No, no I want to keep this banjo in its case!”
Tag: Funny
Son’s quote of the day!
My hubby said “Come on Logan, you’re going to be late for school!” My son replied “Hold on dad, my cowlick is starting a fight with me and I’m trying to fight back!!!!!” darn that boy is funny……I could quote him all day long——oh yea, I do.
I HATE it when #17!
1. My numbers lock is on & I’m trying to type a number, like just now with #1 2. I’m so tired my legs ache at night & make me question whether the commercials are right & I have restless leg syndrome, lol. Even though logically I know I was on my feet all day lifting…
Quote of the day!
“House-shoes I wanted to wear you today, but I can only find one of you!” Per hubby
Quote of the day!
“My body is my temple, my temple needs redecorated!” Joan Rivers talks about another makeover…..
Momma–Quote of the day!
As I’m driving today, I decide to rub lotion on my hands (bad idea), I said “Momma, I’m steering with my elbows, how’s that make you feel?” she said “No different then when your driving with your hands!” SCARED either way, hahahaha!
Birthday Momma!
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear momma, Happy Birthday to you & many more! Have a wonderful day, it will be easy to do, because guess who will be with you………..(ME) Related articles Happy Birthday (infinitepirate.wordpress.com)
You know your kids are naughty when?
My kids were acting so wild & crazy tonight, that my son Logan said if there were ghosts in our home, they would pick up their head & run away (float away)! They would scare a ghost away, HELP ME, please!!!
Here’s your sign!
My daughter made a bet with a friend at school that LSU would beat Alabama! Whomever lost would have too wear a speciality made sign, stating that the other person was right! So guess who LOST, here’s your sign-PEYTON!!!
Daughter’s cell-phone & Hubby!
My hubby had our daughter’s cell-phone in hand today & her new boyfriend texted “Hey, WRUD ?” If you don’t know kids texting lingo- it means What are you doing?” (daughter told me, haha) My hubby thought it would be funny to type back “Shaving my pits!” just to see what he would say………………………………..but decided the wrath of…
Quote of the day!
Begin to be now – what you will be hereafter. William James
I hate it when #15!
1. Ashton Kutcher has long hair! 2. Other people register for my HGTV Dream home. 3. My hubby is having his man period! 4. I have to clean & put away all the Christmas stuff till next year! 5. Pine needles fall off a my fake Christmas tree everywhere! 6. I need more vacuum bags, but don’t realize…
I LOVE it when #7!
1. A new year begins! 2. Step Brothers movie comes on, funny! 3. I make popcorn perfectly, not to many kernels, yet not burnt! 4. I’m witty! 5. I have a great make up day! 6. Ice, Ice baby comes on the radio! 7. My nail polish doesn’t chip! 8. I find money in my families pockets while doing…
Google earth parents home & this is what I found!
You know you’re at your parents home to much when you Google Earth their home & your car is in their driveway! No shit! I laughed & laughed & laughed some more!!!!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHA..There’s my car, sitting right in their driveway! Not my real photo of google earth.(right)
Logan & Papa
Logan began with “Y’all wish my awesomeness would rub off on you” then papa countered with “No, you wish my intelligence rubs off on you!” its WAR…
Quote of day!
Scenario at Applebee’s : Last bite of burger slider left, Papa offered it to Logan, he refused & said “I don’t want denture cream on it!”
Is this weird?
I woke up, walked in den— to find every comforter in the house, except mine (thankfully) all over the floor. My son had friend spend the night made a huge tent, then it imploded on them, when dog (beagle) jumped on top and then proceeded to urinate on it! So they moved what didn’t get wet, into the living…
“Commonly broken” New Year’s Resolution’s
Image via Wikipedia Lose weight – I will, till I’m offered a donut. Quit Smoking – You’ll try your best, but if someone offers you a drag, you’ll have just one. Sure. Learn Something New – You’ll probably stick to this one, about a day, maybe a new word on a fortune cookie paper. Eat healthier – One week later, you’re in a hurry…
How much do I LOVE Disney—————THIS MUCH!
You know you LOVE Disney a lot, when you’re vacuuming your sofa with upholstery tools and instead of finding the usual half chewed pretzel, penny (never a quarter) or popcorn, your vacuum sucks up one yellow, mickey mouse sock with animal fur stuck to it. Now if I can only find the mate, Umm, maybe the chair cushion! LOL… Related articles Top Five Walt…
Xbox live “Quote of the day”
” Sweet, I killed a cow, I killed a cow, (on game) I shot an arrow up in the air & it fell down & hit a cow!” Logan 12
Mannequin @ JcPenney
My son accidentally bumped in a mannequin @ Jcpenney’s Store & my daughter told him that’s the closest you’ll ever be to a girl! Ahh, sibling LOVE, there’s nothing like it! My son’s mannequin did not look like this one.
12 yr old son mad at us: Whats new!
Because we didn’t go to a specific store he wanted to go to today, so he threatened when we got old and in wheelchairs ( as if, all old people are in wheelchairs) that he would push us down a flight of stairs & steal all our money (joking)! Funny & scary, I told him, I will…
Near almost fatal (not really) “Mall Christmas train”
So I’m shopping with my family in mall today, spending our Christmas money & I almost get hit by the Mall Christmas train, filled with happy little boys & girls and only going about 2 miles an hour. Thank god it had a real horn, it honked & I jumped out-of-the-way– just in nick of time! I wrote a little rap, for my almost near…
This is the scenario ” We’re all in the car!”
My son said to his sister “I wonder what’s running through our parents minds right now?” then he said probably nothing,HAHAHAHA rather obnoxiously. Then my hubby said “Boy you’d be scared if you knew!” HAHAHAHA more obnoxiously!!!!!!! funny parent (car) moment.
My funny hubby
My hubby sat on the toilet & said “Man this toilet is low, Am I in Elf Land!”
My son, wet towel & his trumpet!
I asked my son to bring me a towel for my shower & he walks in my room with a trumpet in one hand & rips his wet towel off, now naked & said “Here, it’s the only towel!” I said “Logan cover yourself back up & get the towels from the dryer.” He walked back…
Deceased “Arnold the Armadillo!”
Talking about my dad’s opossum has brought back fond memories of “Arnold the Armadillo.” My daughter & I first saw him dead on the side of the road, then everyday for at least 3 weeks, there he was –still dead— of course I didn’t expect him to rise from the ashes and fly away, silly goose its a…
****BREAKING NEWS***Update (in red)—— to Paw Paw’s Opossum story!
My dad had an albino opossum visiting his home on a regular basis, he would leave food out, watch for him & before we knew it, this blossoming opossum friendship had turned into part of the family. On our last trip to Hot Springs two weeks ago, my dad was telling me all about my…
Quote of the day!
Faith makes all things possible, not EASY!
Quote of the day!
Daughter said, I wouldn’t have chosen computer classes at school momma. My son said “Respect the tech!”
Has this ever happened to you?
Got in the shower with socks still on your feet? Gee, I have lots on my mind, I’ve done some pretty STUPID things before, but soggy socks hasn’t been one of them!
Stay Away–Tip’s for surviving the weekend before Christmas!
1. Stay away from the frantic looking woman with kids! You’ll be sorry… 2. Stay away from the one weird guy by himself, there’s a reason he’s by himself, do not make eye contact either! 3. Stay away from all parking lots, catastrophe’s waiting to happen, but if you dare, watch the way other’s park,…
Funny me!
I really get a kick out of myself! Sometimes I just laugh & laugh & laugh some more. Because something just pops in my head, that I find hilarious. I do get strange looks when it happens while out in public, but I’m use to it…..
Quote of the day!
Playing golf without gambling is nothing more than walking in a park with a bunch of men! Hubby 38
I LOVE it when #6
1. When I get in my car & my favorite song comes on the radio. 2. I don’t have any chores to do that day, rare. 3. I see a mall Santa that looks real (spoiler alert)! 4. My coffee tastes great in the morning. 5. My kids are at school. 6. My kids come home…
I thought it was the short line!
Do you have this problem also? I meticulously pick my checkout line at every store. I always get the one that appears the shortest, but it never fails, even if it’s just one person in line, it’s the one idiot who trying to return something in the checkout line, does this person really not know about the stores RETURN area…
Quote of the day! (A little vulgar but to funny to pass up.)
” If you put a condom on you’re heart & somebody screws with it, it will still be protected!!!!! Braxton Values… Crazy things come out of their mouths, vulgar, crazy things–but funny as well!!!!!
Quote of the day!
“I’ve mastered crazy!” Chelsea Handler, she is the best at being baaaaaaad, and I LOVE her for it… Keep your books coming… Related articles Clips From Last Night: Chelsea Handler on her multi-million dollar deal: “I’m not Oprah, I’m Chelsea;” her political aspirations and more (piersmorgan.blogs.cnn.com)
I hate it when #12
1. My son gets a library fine on two books he checked out & never READ! 2. When I give money to Salvation Army bell shaker before going into store, then on way out, I don’t give any & they give me dirty looks…. 3. My nail polish chips the same day as I painted them, especially mad, if…
Boo Hoo Dallas
Dallas trip this weekend is bitter-sweet, happy to be in Dallas but sad to be bringing my nephew back, but we’ll be back very soon….. Earlier this was the scenario in our hotel room, my son playing musical wine glasses in kitchen & no one was drinking wine, my mom on laptop playing fun, fake…
Octopus Mom, NOT dad!
Swat, grab, pinch, poke, kiss, a momma can do it all blindfolded! Multi-tasking is her middle name, her first name should be Octopus. It is hilarious to observe the difference between a mother & father, first of all, any man will say HUH or WHAT as a stall tactic, to get out of doing something right then,…
My dad & his skunk!
Around 4:30 one morning, my father phoned my hubby and asked him if he could come over immediately & help him out with a little problem. My hubby rushed over, concerned of what the problem would be so early in the morning. My dad previously in the week had noticed a skunk visiting his backyard a few times, so…
I hate it when #8
1. I have to clean my hairbrush & people you are supposed to do that! 2. People put their toilet paper on wrong, the pull tab is supposed to be over top! 3. You drop your last piece of something delicious on the floor longer than the 30 sec rule & you eat it anyway! 4. I…
Carpooling, orange cones, saga continues!
Ladies, I was blaming you & I’m soooo sorry! I recently found out that my hubby inevitably is one of the people smashing orange cones in the school parking lot! Here’s how it went down–I’m picking my son up from school yesterday & trying to take a picture of the orange cones, strewn all over the place, to post here for…
Carpooling & Orange cones
Everyday I drop off & pick up my child at school. They have large, bright orange cones set out in a special pattern for carpoolers’ to follow (so us ding-dong, mothers in the giant vehicles, don’t hit a kid) doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. But somehow every single day, the orange cones are spread…
Is this WEIRD #1
A few weeks ago, we found the perfect costume for my son Logan, he loves hot dogs, it’s a running joke everywhere we go fancy restaurant or not, he eats them. So when we saw the Hot Dog Costume, it was a perfect fit. Picture this, we’re driving home from picking up this marvelous weiner creation & like any kid, with a…
Halloween Night Costumes:
My kiddos could not have been more opposite if they tried for Halloween: My daughter Peyton was PRINCESS KATE & my son a HOT DOG! P.S. THIS IS NOT MY SON, BUT THIS IS HOW COSTUME LOOKED!
Finding Bigfoot
Marathon is on, Yippee! New season begin’s in January!
I hate it when #7
1. I open a brand new bag of chips & there broken up in little pieces. 2. I trip in public & act like it was someone elses fault so I don’t look so stupid, in essence looking more stupid. 3. I drip toothpaste while brushing my teeth on scarf or shirt. 4. People butt dial…
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 