Yay, I’m so excited! Today while driving my daughter to play practice, I noticed a new store going in a few miles from my home. A bright blue sign said “LOKEA” HMM, I turned around to get a better look & realized it was a “local IKEA” delivery store……I didn’t know they existed, I’m thrilled. Every time I visit my sister…
Tag: Funny
I HATE it when #31
1. I just put lotion all over my hands & my ear has an itch, happened today! 2. My son yells at the top of his lungs “Blow out the candle, it smells like crap!” —–today 3. When I have many projects at hand, but not sure how to tackle them. 4. When my daughter gets her phone taken…
Giggles, Hernia & Toots
My dad & I were, en-route for his first ever “Black Friday” shopping with me. It was an experience to say the least, he said “Listen!” then he pushed on his belly & his hernia made a squishy sound. I laughed & said “That’s disgusting!” Then he did it again, but this time–it sounded drastically different. I giggled & said…
Quote of the day!
“My wife is going to be a kitchen wench!”my son, Logan. (proud parent moment.)
Is this Weird?
Only in a bathroom in Texas, can you find a half chewed piece of beef jerky on the floor next to the toilet, gross!
Quote of the day!
You grab the money & I’ll grab the eyeballs! Barry, Storage Wars
Quote of the Day!
My son said “It was the worst day of my life!” I said, what day are you referring to? “The day I put $75 bucks in my savings account & never saw it again!”I then said, you’ve doubled it since then. Logan stated “Yeah but you won’t let me get it—so I lost 75 bucks…
Quote of the Day!
You look like Richard Simmons just crapped out a gosh dang hobbit! The Campaign (movie)
5 Second Rule
My daughter dropped her half eaten candy apple on the floor in my car and screamed. I said don’t worry 5 second rule, she said “but it has hair on it!”Eww…..
Normal or Not?
You’re vacuuming your car out & come across a lonely unwrapped piece of candy, under one of the seats. A normal person would: A) Throw it out B) Vacuum it up C) Play like you got it out of your purse & tell the kids you’ll give it to the kid, that shuts up the longest, ah ha! D) or Eat it, like…
Is this WEIRD?
I went to sip my coffee this morning & found a small bug in it, I said “—gross!” I got the bug out with my finger turned my mug around & continued drinking my cup of joe! Now that’s lazy & gross, I sink to new lows all the time! Is this WEIRD?
You know you’re pathetic WHEN:
You know you’re REALLY pathetic when –you chose to eat leftover chinese food in your bed at 1:37am. It gets worse–the next morning, I found a piece of rice stuck to my neck! At least it wasn’t an eggroll! YAY me, Mrs Pathetic!!!!!
Is this WEIRD?
I LOVE cold fried chicken, better than hot fried chicken! Is this WEIRD?
I HATE it when #29!
1. Toothpaste gets all over everything, the lid, countertop, sink, bottom of toothbrush– but it never stays on the toothbrush, it stays on everything its not suppose to, ever notice that? 2. The plastic things in woman’s shirts/dresses that are supposed to help you hang it easier, but in actuality they come out of your clothes when wearing them every…
I LOVE u this much!
If you want to show LOVE to your hubby in a new & exciting way, just plant flowers in his favorite sports team colors: LSU purple & gold (yellow, close enough)
Is this WEIRD? with a Rap….
My family, mainly my hubby tries to trick me, all the time into eating weird animals! Like squirrel, rabbit, snake, alligator & other oddities, like balls of something & I mean balls! They giggle or smirk when asking me to try something, they think if they mix it with stew or roux, I’ll try it–I’m on to…
Quote of the day!
“You get tired running around a Monopoly board!”
Is this Weird?
I have toilet tattoo’s. Makes a decorative toilet!
“Braces” unusual reaction!
Yesterday my son found out it’s time for him to receive braces! But the reaction was surprisingly “YES, GREAT, WONDERFUL, I have to tell all my friends, this day is so special I must ask them about their braces!” He went so far as to watch video’s on youtube of kids getting braces! Boy they’ll show anything on youtube… REALLY…
I’m Officially Elderly!
I went for a practice 3.1 mile run this evening– preparing for my runDisney 5k this Saturday. Just a half mile into my run I fell & cut my knee, elbow & hand! I dropped pretty hard to the ground–dusted the concrete off my new Bobo’s– did the infamous look around to see if anyone saw me & had a quick pity party…
New Riding Mower
My hubby was out of town for work & I had to make an executive decision on a riding lawn mower at Lowe’s Home Improvement Store, I bought it and this is how I sold it to him over the phone: “It’s green and has a headlight & a pretty little drink holder to hold…
Is this WEIRD?
I enjoy the taste of my adult gummy vitamins so much, sometimes I have two, YUM!
I Hate it when #28!
1. I’m walking by a cabinet & my silk jammies get wrapped around a drawer pull & it yank’s me back & the cabinet open. You’d be surprised how often this happens!!!! 2. I let another driver over in front of me & they don’t wave thank you! RUDE….. 3. I’m driving through a Wal-Mart parking lot and people don’t get out of…
Quote of the day
“Any day is a good day when I have a meat pie!” Logan
Quote of the day!
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ***I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn
Book for old people???
As usual my parents & I were driving around in my car & my dad said the darnedest thing. “Do you read books?” I said “of course” eagerly anticipating why this totally random question came from his breath.Then he said “you know a book on how to treat old people, because your always –taking us…
Quote of the Day!
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional!
New Puppy Potty Training & Kids, huh?
My hubby said “The way I’m going to potty train the new puppy is to put our kids nose in her poop, so they’ll make sure to take her out!”…..Ok, that’s one way to do it….
I HATE it when #27!
1. My daughter plays the same song over & over, over, over, over, over, over & then I start singing it! 2. One of my kids gets sick then the other, then my hubby, then ME! 3. I’m running & realize I’m running!eekkk 4. Our new puppy barks right after I’ve fallen asleep. 5, I don’t…
Quote of the Day!
You know your old, when you get bruises from coupons! Peyton Gosdin Related articles Midas Coupons Online (answers.com) Texas Roadhouse Coupons (answers.com)
Sonic Drive In & Handicap Parking—Why???
Can you say odd! We pulled up to “Sonic Drive-In” this evening for a quickie dinner & I almost pulled in a handicap parking space, then the kids & I looked at each other & giggled, why would anyone ever get out of their car at a drive-in….Car hops come to you, there’s no public restroom…and it was a distant…
Turtle Pizza?
Logan, where’s your turtle my mother asked, knowing full well that Squirt was trying to climb out of a dish on her kitchen table. At this point she realized that the turtle was wiggling his way towards dinner, Little Caesars Pizza & then she remarked watch out or we’ll be having turtle pizza…. Now get that turtle OFF my…
Quote of the day!
“You take the money, I’ll take the eyeballs. Believe it or not, it’s not the first time I’ve said that!” Barry Weiss/Storage Wars
Hot Dogs in Heaven!
My son said “There better be hot dogs in Heaven or I’m going some place else!” I said, God’s in heaven! Then he said “There’s gotta be hot dogs in Heaven or it wouldn’t be Heaven!” Related articles 10 Weird Hot Dog Facts (fooducate.com)
I LOVE it when #18
1.The ice dispenser works without spilling ice all over my floor. 2. I can’t figure out the ending of a movie, that’s a good movie…. 3. Pouring a glass of Coke Zero, the foam doesn’t go over my glass. 4. My clothes come out of the dryer wrinkle free & I don’t have to iron them. 5. My…
Is this WEIRD?
When my hubby is in the kitchen & I’m in our bedroom, I will yell or call him on his cell to bring me things, like glass of ice water, sweet & low for my coffee, chips, etc? I guess I should change the title of this post to: Is this LAZY? Lol……..he is closer…
Is this WEIRD?
In my car with cantaloupes today driving to my parents house, one of the cantaloupes fell onto my driver side floorboard & up against the gas pedal & made my car run a stop sign! True story, do u think a police officer would believe me— if he were around???Lol! Crazy situations always find me. Related…
I HATE it when #26
1. One of my neighbor’s mows the lawn before 7:00am! 2. I step in dog poop, not just step—-SLIP. 3. Pumping gas, I ALWAY’S go over the limit I set out to pump & usually by a penny–EVERYTIME! Like 40.01, 60.01, 80.01! 4. I’m mowing the lawn & run out of gas, with just one row left….
Is this WEIRD?
I’ve loved “This Old House” & “Antiques Roadshow” on PBS since I was little! Is this WEIRD?
Yoga for Dummies!
My son found my “Yoga for Dummies DVD & started working out to it–He was really enjoying himself till the dvd said “Combine this workout with a sensible diet!” then he replied “Shoot, I’m not doing a sensible diet—— I’m doing this, so I can eat whatever I want!!!!!!!!” Hilarious
I LOVE it when #17
1. It’s a lazy day at home. 2. My kids go outdoors & do something, anything! 3. We’re in the jeep & what was a beautiful day has now turned very cloudy & I pray-don’t let it start until we’ve arrive home & it worked, literally right when we walk in the door—down pour!!!! Magical powers…
Deodorizer Fart Pads–Really
You don’t have to be in elementary school to giggle at these in-underwear deodorizer fart pads. Laced with activated charcoal, these ingenious (but not particularly sexy) adhesive pads help neutralize even the most odoriferous of releases. Just think, no more embarrassing silent-but-deadlies midmeeting or blaming that noxious smell on the dog. They’re surely a lifesaver…
Stripper & Horse Trainer
My hubby & I were watching a new reality T.V. show filmed where we live & one of the “characters” introduced herself as a Stripper & Horse trainer! WOW, my hubby & I looked at each other & he replied “I hope she’s a great horse trainer, because I don’t know who would pay to see…
Xbox Live or drugs?
My twelve year old son asked “Are you going to buy me a XBOX Live card today?” I said “You have money-if you want it, you buy it, — why should I buy you one anyway, it’s not your birthday or a holiday!” He jokingly replied “It keeps me from doing drugs, I thought you would be happy to buy me one!”
Surprise Booby Appearance
It’s my daughters 15th birthday so we decided to go bowling, play pool, eat, then shopping. As we’re walking in front of a beautiful fountain, families were making wishes together and I’m pretty darn sure their wish was not seeing my right boob make a surprise appearance-all because my Birthday girl stepped on my sundress!…
Flip’s off the diving board!
My daughter mentioned going to our neighborhood pool tomorrow & I said “I would go with you, but I just colored my hair.” She said “Good– then you should have your hair colored everyday.” I replied “I would LOVE to show you my flips off the diving board!” My daughter then stated “Oh yeah that sounds like fun going to…
Is this weird?
My daughter dared my son to pee a little in the cat litter & he did!!!!!!! I know, gross….
Is this weird?
While at the Dollar Tree the other day, my daughter & I thought it would be funny if we gathered all the Hawaiian garb & put it on her. Then we took this picture, good times, good times!
My dead butt
I told my kids, I’ll make it easy for y’all, when I’m dead just burn me & split my ashes between the two of you. Then my daughter said “Yeah I’d probably end up with your butt” I replied No, I’ll give you one cheek & your brother the other! HAhahahahaha
Hubby’s Quote of the day
I’ve got the POWER & you’re a little SOUR! Hubby speaking to our rotten children today.
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 