I asked my son why he wears a ring (manly), he said “it adds a little fun to my finger!” Haha, ok!
Category: Family Funnies
Does this happen or just to unlucky ME?
I walked through my kitchen the other day “la, dee, da, da, da” & all of a sudden I got this extremely sharp pain in my toe, I hopped over to my kitchen chair– screaming “Owie, oh, OW,OW,OW,OW,OW,OW & some other explicit words…….which gained the attention of my son, hubby & actually my teenage daughter,…
Gum Ball – tooth?????
What does a gum ball, nerd candy & a tooth have in common? I chewed a gum ball today & noticed something hard as I chewed, I thought it was nerd candy, but unfortunately, it was not–it was a piece of my tooth! Disgusting:(
Rosacea Diagnosis-
I was recently diagnosed with Rosacea. Picture this, My hubby & I were lying next to one another in bed (head out of the gutter) as I read the Mayo Clinic website on symptoms of Rosacea. I read this out loud: Hubby replies in red. A flushed, red face with sensitive, dry skin that may burn or sting. — He…
Hints for “MY” Mother’s Day!
1. The always nice “breakfast in bed”! Bagel thin & peppered bacon, yummo! 2. Shiny NEW Ray Bans — Hubby, you know which pair I like, (the kids don’t have any money, so front them some) hint:) I tried them on the other day, REMEMBER:) 3. I’m served all day, waited on hand & foot with a SMILE – by…
In my vacuum
This is just some of what I found in my vacuum today, my son last used it in his room, he sucked this prize up…..
Is this Weird?
While grilling in my backyard, I heard my dog chewing on something loudly. Upon further inspection, are you ready for this–it was some kind of JAWBONE, yes I said JAWBONE–with yellow-gnarled up teeth still in tact. OMG I was terrified it was human & we would need CSI, so I snatched it out of my dog’s mouth…
Our Intellectual Conversation!
Walking at the Boardwalk this evening my hubby & I shared a very intellectual, stimulating-conversation, it went something like this: “You know they should have Dancing with the Hobo’s instead of Dancing with the Stars!” I said, —True–Stars have money, hobo’s don’t, that way hobo’s could earn some extra cash & pick up a new hobby/trade….
What’s that smell?
I tried to clean out my car today & smelled this foul odor. So I looked under my seats — thought it could possibly be meat that slid under my seat from a grocery bag (happened before) or worse, a dead squirrel possibly cooked in my engine, my mind was all over the place. (more…
Hubby’s Worst Nightmare!
Today, I told my hubby about my new favorite late night T.V. channel, QVC. I went on & on about this Bernini 3 tier patio fountain that I ordered at 2:15 in the morning. As I’m bragging about it being cordless & that it included 6 different water spouts, two different toppers: a pineapple or a planter….He said Wait, wait just a second 2:15 A.M.?–“Nothings worse…
My family was BUSTED on way to DISNEY! by accident
Disney dorks know, when you’re trying to get to the happiest place on earth, you bypass a few things like; *Adequate sleep *Potty breaks–even though your kids have been screaming for hours *Meals–you keep telling them the next town, then the next *You might accidentally overlook a Sun-Pass tollway, LIKE US–probably because we just paid 15…
Hubby’s “Quote of the Day!”
My hubby said ” I thought I found a dead body today!” I shockingly said WHERE? (like it would matter) Sounding oddly disappointed he stated, “but it was just a pile of clothes in a pasture!”
Son’s “Quote of the Day!”
“They added fire charges, YES!!” Logan (13) yelled today while playing Minecraft 😮
Keeping with the RAT theme
My son told me a story (loosely based), it involved a Boy, Gym Class & a Rat, weird combo, huh? In gym class the other day, a kid changed into his gym clothes & a rat jumped out & the boy screamed at the top of his lungs & ran out of the locker room. I don’t know if this…
One of my MOST embarrassing moments ever (oldie but goodie)
On our recent visit to Disney World a few weeks ago, I experienced one of my most embarrassing moments EVER . The Beach Club Resort was our home away from home on this trip & Concierge Level to boot, ooh la la, or better yet HA HA HA (you’ll see why). 9:45 in the morning…
Poor Teachers
My daughter & her friend were gabbing back & forth in the car, about the teachers at their school. One teacher was mentioned quite a bit, so my MOM ears tuned in to their teenage gossip. Get ready for this——–They actually said “Yeah & he is SOOOO mean, when he wakes you up in class!!!!!!!!” I was floored, I…
“Dear Abby” Daddy–REALLY!
My dad ran in the store earlier today, he came out & my mom said “What did you go in for?” He said “Dear Abby snack cakes” We laughed & said “You mean, Little Debbie snack cakes!”
Lizard Tattoo & Church
Great day for our son to apply a rather large Dragon tat to his hand, right before church! So hilarious!!!!!!!!
Sports Clips & Logan
This past weekend my son received a haircut from Sports Clips, while he’s enjoyed his shampoo, neck rub & warm towel—the hair stylist asked “Oh honey, did you get something cut out of your head & pointed to the back of his head?” My son said “Yes!” Hair beautified & time to depart Sports Clips, we noticed the hairstylist looked a little sad, WEIRD*** I thought….
Daughter’s Quote of the day”
“Mom, I need to jog with you tonight, my hips just aren’t working for me!” I LMAO!!! Her hips look just fine…….
Not what I expected!!!!
Early yesterday morning – I looked at my cats litter box, I noticed a rather large object. I was alarmed that a delicate cat named Tinkerbelle could have such a gigantic amount of- let’s just say #2. I inspected the situation closer to find, it was not #2 it was my sons sock, just not…
My hubby’s GPS!
My hubby’s GPS asked if he would take unpaved roads for a shorter distance to his job location, he selected YES. While driving down an unpaved road in the middle of nowhere he came upon a road sign that said “Road may be hazardous when creek is up” so he worried a little wooden bridge might be ahead. His…
Nine Toed Teacher!
My son Logan informed me today that his substitute teacher had only nine toes, she was missing her big toe. I laughed & asked how do you know this? He replied “SHE showed us.” I said, How did she lose her toe? “She didn’t say.” I thought, how strange of a woman teacher to state— that she only had nine…
Mom, slow down my bandaids coming off!
My sister traveled back to Dallas, and her three-year old son yelled out “Slow down mama!” while he sadly looked at his band-aid thumb. She realized then, he thought by her driving fast–it would make his band-aid fall off, SO freaking cute…. I think this band-aid was special to him, because his Mimi drew a Smiley Face on it…
Q-tips, hair rollers & one sock!
What does a sock, one washcloth with makeup on it, drinking glass from the kitchen, two hair rollers & Stridex pads have in common: They were all laying atop my bathroom counter this morning! Oh & two used Q-tips!!!!!!! Oh the joys of motherhood..Joy, Joy, Joy
Lokea & Hubby????
Yay, I’m so excited! Today while driving my daughter to play practice, I noticed a new store going in a few miles from my home. A bright blue sign said “LOKEA” HMM, I turned around to get a better look & realized it was a “local IKEA” delivery store……I didn’t know they existed, I’m thrilled. Every time I visit my sister…
Giggles, Hernia & Toots
My dad & I were, en-route for his first ever “Black Friday” shopping with me. It was an experience to say the least, he said “Listen!” then he pushed on his belly & his hernia made a squishy sound. I laughed & said “That’s disgusting!” Then he did it again, but this time–it sounded drastically different. I giggled & said…
This is what I’m dealing with!
I received a text message from my daughter. She informed me, her school had an extremely emotional “Veterans Day” assembly today. Peyton said she boo hooed through the whole event & then asked the craziest question. “For Christmas can I get my pilot’s license, if you LOVE me–you’ll let me!” This is what I’m dealing with….. UGH– NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
5 Second Rule
My daughter dropped her half eaten candy apple on the floor in my car and screamed. I said don’t worry 5 second rule, she said “but it has hair on it!”Eww…..
I LOVE u this much!
If you want to show LOVE to your hubby in a new & exciting way, just plant flowers in his favorite sports team colors: LSU purple & gold (yellow, close enough)
Teenage son’s gym shoes
Opening my freezer I had quite the surprise this evening. My thirteen year old son Logan decided that his dirty gym shoes would smell better if he put fabric softener in them & put them in my freezer…… I was soooo grossed out, I baby barfed & screamed at the same time, which was gross! Then…
“Braces” unusual reaction!
Yesterday my son found out it’s time for him to receive braces! But the reaction was surprisingly “YES, GREAT, WONDERFUL, I have to tell all my friends, this day is so special I must ask them about their braces!” He went so far as to watch video’s on youtube of kids getting braces! Boy they’ll show anything on youtube… REALLY…
Quote of the day
“Any day is a good day when I have a meat pie!” Logan
Book for old people???
As usual my parents & I were driving around in my car & my dad said the darnedest thing. “Do you read books?” I said “of course” eagerly anticipating why this totally random question came from his breath.Then he said “you know a book on how to treat old people, because your always –taking us…
My Dad’s Crazy X-Ray?
In the car on the way to my dad’s doctor’s appointment for his chest X-ray, he starts talking crazy. Crazy talk went like this= ” When they look at the x-ray will they see what I ate for breakfast?” We said No, silly, it will show your chest: like your lungs & heart. He said “Oh…
My son is now a teenager, HELP!
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Logan, Happy Birthday to you & many more!!! I Love you sweet lovin’ hot dog boy!
Sonic Drive In & Handicap Parking—Why???
Can you say odd! We pulled up to “Sonic Drive-In” this evening for a quickie dinner & I almost pulled in a handicap parking space, then the kids & I looked at each other & giggled, why would anyone ever get out of their car at a drive-in….Car hops come to you, there’s no public restroom…and it was a distant…
Turtle Pizza?
Logan, where’s your turtle my mother asked, knowing full well that Squirt was trying to climb out of a dish on her kitchen table. At this point she realized that the turtle was wiggling his way towards dinner, Little Caesars Pizza & then she remarked watch out or we’ll be having turtle pizza…. Now get that turtle OFF my…
Anything goes!
When traveling I realized that anything goes! I forgot my pillow for traveling, so I grabbed the next best thing, a roll of paper towels! It was pretty comfy, better than my hand!
Is this WEIRD?
When my hubby is in the kitchen & I’m in our bedroom, I will yell or call him on his cell to bring me things, like glass of ice water, sweet & low for my coffee, chips, etc? I guess I should change the title of this post to: Is this LAZY? Lol……..he is closer…
Yoga for Dummies!
My son found my “Yoga for Dummies DVD & started working out to it–He was really enjoying himself till the dvd said “Combine this workout with a sensible diet!” then he replied “Shoot, I’m not doing a sensible diet—— I’m doing this, so I can eat whatever I want!!!!!!!!” Hilarious
Son’s birthday request
My crazy son said “I know what I want for my birthday, a hot dog rotisserie with a built in bun toaster!” Funny, funny, funny!
Stripper & Horse Trainer
My hubby & I were watching a new reality T.V. show filmed where we live & one of the “characters” introduced herself as a Stripper & Horse trainer! WOW, my hubby & I looked at each other & he replied “I hope she’s a great horse trainer, because I don’t know who would pay to see…
Xbox Live or drugs?
My twelve year old son asked “Are you going to buy me a XBOX Live card today?” I said “You have money-if you want it, you buy it, — why should I buy you one anyway, it’s not your birthday or a holiday!” He jokingly replied “It keeps me from doing drugs, I thought you would be happy to buy me one!”
Surprise Booby Appearance
It’s my daughters 15th birthday so we decided to go bowling, play pool, eat, then shopping. As we’re walking in front of a beautiful fountain, families were making wishes together and I’m pretty darn sure their wish was not seeing my right boob make a surprise appearance-all because my Birthday girl stepped on my sundress!…
My birthday girl turns 15!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Peyton, happy birthday to you, and many more! Have a wonderful 15th birthday, thank you for making daddy & I sooooo proud! We’ve enjoyed watching you grow into a beautiful young lady & we LOVE you very much. Happy Birthday Pey Pey!
Flip’s off the diving board!
My daughter mentioned going to our neighborhood pool tomorrow & I said “I would go with you, but I just colored my hair.” She said “Good– then you should have your hair colored everyday.” I replied “I would LOVE to show you my flips off the diving board!” My daughter then stated “Oh yeah that sounds like fun going to…
Jeep riding Memorial Day
Enjoying gorgeous holiday with family cruising the mountains in jeep!
Travel, Family & Fun rolled into one! 