1. Someone spills jelly, syrup or honey on my kitchen counter.

2. Anyone blows their nose in front of me & then begins to pick at it, gag me!

3. I pour a bowl of Lucky Charms & there’s barely any marshmallows:( I blame my daughter:O

4. My heart is set on something in the pantry, the fridge or my secret stash & it’s all gone. Time for new secret stash hideout…..

5. I’m uterine bleeding & it’s not that special time of the month…..

6. A crappy song comes on while running. Kill me now…

7. I’m dressed like a dude & look like death & I’m about to get on the treadmill, but I decide to do a good deed & take up my elderly neighbors trashcan. Not only did she come out but the mail-lady made a surprise appearance & the crazy neighbor down the street-DAMN.

8. I feel sooooooo~sooooooo sick but don’t have a fever, so nobody feels sorry for me, because they don’t think I’m REALLY sick. But I feel like it’s 105+, wah.

9. They trust Chelsea Handler on LIVE T.V.

10. Chelsea Lately is OVER-forever. boo hoo hoo hoo.