Disclaimer::::First of all I pride myself on organization almost to a fault, but nothing could have prepared me for this day. Disclaimer::::

Can you believe that my almost worst day ever began at my happy place, Walt Disney World Resort! I woke up early on my departure day– #1) I called the Magical Express baggage department to prepay my one checked luggage and right as I’m giving them my credit card info, the cell phone goes dead from poor reception, happened all weekend, don’t know why I didn’t walk out on the balcony beforehand, so I called back from the balcony in my PJs, embarrassing. Now it’s time to go and I was pretty well packed and physically ready to go, all I had to do was place my sleep clothes in the luggage and zip it up! #2) Well that simple task soon became the Achilles heel, debacle, descent, destruction, to my day. I jumped, hit, walked, pushed, screamed and prayed that my luggage would zip, but defeat and the realization that I only had ten minutes till my Magical Express and the fact that I had no one to blame but myself! #3) I phoned the lobby for advice on another Magical Express pick up and sure enough they said I was SOL (shit out of luck–my words) and would have to get a cab (50-60 to airport + tolls & tip) Ok at least I had a little more time to re-adjust my suitcase, I finally jammed all souvenirs in, not caring if I broke anything~ just happy all zipped up. #4) When making a final inspection of my room, I found my robe and proceeded to stuff it into my carry-on bag, yay it fit, or so I thought, I ripped about an inch of my bag along the zipper, it was a new bag, REALLY I thought– Is God testing me, I’m a good person, I’m speaking this aloud as I’m walking to lobby, looking extra nutty!!!!!!!

I’m finally in the lobby with a few minutes to spare,  sweating like a pig from dragging my now broke down luggage across acres of the resort and on the brink of a nervous break down at any second, it was touch and go for a while. #5) I realize I have seven dollars cash on me and I need cash for my awesome new mode of transportation (cab) I asked a helpful cast member in the lobby the nearest ATM machine, she pointed out its location and I swear she said “It’s been down all morning” What did I do God, really??? I walk out to the porte-cochere and see a Magical Express pull up, I totter over to the valet attending the bus and ask if I can hop on, I gave him my original  ME pass and “LUIS” approved and said he’d let yellow cab know, my godsend, rewards for my good deeds…things were looking up, I thought!

The ME I was on was actually a later bus for later flights, I now have an hour and half to get to MCO, check my bag, go through security and reach my terminal! We arrive one hour before my flight departs– #6) I jumped off the ME and the sweet, Disney ME driver stands by the door while every single soul gets off the bus stating the obvious~ watch your step, watch your step, watch your step, now here’s what I’m honestly thinking, these fools have been at WDW all week and were able to ride upside down and sideways roller coasters that were in the dark, walk miles in the parks and function absolutely independently without someone telling them to watch their step~ Dude really, just get my freaking bags–#7) I’m sure you already guessed what happened next, my bags were literally the last two bags he grabbed, he had to get a pole and literally drag them out. #8) I tottered some more till I reached the third floor with my worn down artifacts and arrived miles away from where I was dropped off at Delta Airlines, I showed my preprinted boarding passes and described to Larry~ the Delta employee that I prepaid through WDW baggage ME and he exclaimed “That’s a service they provide when you check your bag with Magical Express!” and since I missed my original ME I was again SOL! #10) So I was charged for my bag a second time in one day and can you believe it got worse, because after he handed back my credit card, # 11) he has the nerve to tell me its overweight and that it will be another $90.00, I practically threw my credit card at him in disbelief and the tears started flowing and I mean full on ugly crying, at this point I looked frail and I’m not a “little thang” and the lack of breakfast with the lack of compassion, for my horribly wrong, should have stayed in bed kinda day, was taking its toll.

I finally got rid of one bag, but still have my newly ripped carry-on, a Lego’s bag with a Star Wars plane for my son, new WDW Dooney & Bourke purse with my laptop stuffed in it and finally I’m headed the security line, tears have subsided for now and I prepared for lockdown #12) I have my watch off, my computer out of its case, my purse open, liquids in ziplock totaling 2 quarts, Lego bag in separate container, carry-on on belt, I was ready~ they gave me the all clear to walk under the metal detector and I breezed thru, till he said “Go back thru”, I said  why, it didn’t beep, he said “you forgot to take off your shoes”, I bust out with tears, like windshield wiper fluid, I thought of everything but the most common thing, my freaking shoes, REALLY, I had hit the SKIDS!!!!! At this point everybody thought I was imbalanced and I seriously questioned it too.

I finally made it to my plane with literally no time to spare, they’d already boarded my zone, but I made my flight. I looked around at everyone and smiled because I was shell-shocked and didn’t know what else to do while I waited for slow plane people to finally take their seat and then I was seated (angels singing) and took one giant deep breath. #13) With all this rush, rush, rush, I hadn’t beautified, after I reclaimed some of my composure, I grabbed my mirror and in horror and dismay I gasped aloud at myself, I had walked around the entire airport, security and plane people~ even saying good afternoon to the pilot with mascara all down my left eye, OMG, no wonder people gazed at me more than usual, not because I looked cute, because I seemed deranged~ you know insane in the membrane………………………………………………………….This day sucked, dare I say, could it get worse~ the answer is hell to the yeah!

I’ve now napped and the plane arrived at my connection: Hot-Lanta (Atlanta) and in one hot mess I might add. #14) The sweet gentleman standing behind me swiftly grabs my carry-on out of the overhead compartment~ so swiftly that you hear ZXXZXZXZXXZXZXZX (that means it ripped– a lot) and my once new, severely ripped carry-on was now defunct, worst of all~ my dirty laundry bag was exposed for everyone at the largest passenger airport in the U.S. to see. #15) I stopped at a Delta help station for what else~ HELP and asked for tape to try to cover up my belongings and can you believe they had no tape, at all. #16) I continued to a shuttle that’s suppose to take me to my final terminal of the day~ thank God and as I’m trying to find something, anything to hold onto, it abruptly started~ I actually fell against, not just one person, but two people, one on each side…

I erratically made it to my last terminal of the day, no seats were available in waiting area, big surprise, so I just made myself comfortable on the floor. #17) I called my family to share with them my unbelievable trail of events that plagued the horrendous day and I received an incoming call from a Boat dealer we recently bought a boat from, telling me our boat needed a new engine & it would take another two weeks before we could pick it up, but at their $ expense! #18)  O.K., I promise 20 minutes till boarding the plane to finally go home, the Delta employee announced the flight is over booked by one person and they need someone to volunteer or they would select……THANKFULLY someone volunteered. Honestly I almost did myself because after the day I had, I really needed downtime it was also raining heavily and my daughter actually told me not to get on the plane, she had a bad feeling, so even though I made the flight home in bad weather, I anticipated it going down in a ball of flames, because that’s just the kind of day it was!

I jumped off the plane with vigor, I grabbed my raggedy, was new but now defunct ripped carry-on, Lego’s bag with Star Wars plane for my son, WDW Dooney & Bourke purse with laptop in it and ran to the luggage carousel for my ONE very expensive, overweight, made me ugly cry with mascara on my left eye checked 3 times bag and got in my SUV. Pulled thru the parking gate and paid 35.00 dollars to the parking attendant, in which he so gently asked “How was your day?” Dorothy’s statement in “The Wizard of OZ” never rang more true , I exclaimed to the parking attendant “There’s NO place like home, There’s NO place like home!

P.S. When I arrived home, I literally put old cat litter in the now raggedy, was new but now really defunct, cat litter carry-on & enjoyed tossing it in the trash can! Then a sense of calm fell upon me…………………HAHEHEHAHAHHE

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