HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

The toughest job ever

Lets get REAL, on Mother’s Day—-some mothers don’t want a bunch of hand-made crap their kids were forced to make in school. No fruit baskets either, we deserve to eat Carbs this day. We don’t really want flowers either, just something else we have to keep alive & clean up after. Forget chocolates & champ’s, we can get fat & drunk another day. This is Mother’s Day, we’ve earned big expensive gifts, for all the grief our kids have caused us, am I right? For all the times our children have marked on the walls, stained the carpet, talked back, let the animals potty inside, dented our cars, yelled at us, lost their retainers, just plain drained the life right out of us, ETC.

KIDS, LISTEN UP

This is our day, we want honored, obeyed & freaking awesome stuff.  And if your budget doesn’t allow for freaking awesome stuff, then we’d prefer you NOT: 

• Roll your eyes at us
• Call us names to our face or behind our back
• Dramatically yell, like it’s the end of the world
• Ask us to locate your lost shoe
• Give us the STINK eye (you know that look)
• Tattle-Tale (unless life endangered)
• Utter the words  “It’s not fair” in any sentence, really ever again:)
• Ask if Billy or Suzy can spend the night
• Ask for money
• Be disrespectful heathen’s
• Get a tattoo (just seeing if your paying attention)
• Take our makeup to school with you (teenage daughter)
• Talk/Tantrum/Meltdown during church, grocery store, grandparents house, anywhere
• Scratch, dent or worse–total the car
• Ask WHY a million times

This is just some of the creative, yet annoying things kids do–on a daily basis. Inching mother’s one step closer to the Crazy Farm:O

Still Listening Kids

On the slight chance you can pull off getting us freaking awesome stuff for Mother’s Day, we’ll forgo the entire list above, but it better be FREAKING AWESOME STUFF:))) Disney Dooney & Bourke, Jewelry, Cash is always excepted, etc:)