Here we go again—Is it Breast Cancer this time?

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Well six months is up, actually seven really….time for another tata checkup. Mammogram & breast surgeon here I come— again. I’ve been a little naughty about scheduling this last appointment, maybe because I’m nervous this could be the appt that will change my life forever. Its funny you actually look at your family differently when going through a crisis or something scary. I felt I was looking at my kids & hubby trying to soak them  all in, just in case I received bad news, hoping GOD- just don’t let this be, not to me, or them— but I m a realist, it has to happen to someone & then I feel sad for those. I think its like 1 of 4 people get diagnosed with cancer in there lifetime, horrible odds, we need a cure!

I went to have my mammogram on Tuesday Nov 8th, 2011, beautiful day outside, I wished I felt as good on inside. The waiting room was little & very plain to look at, kinda depressing, no color just boring pale beige. A few women were there, also waiting to have one, filled out the usual 15 pages of paperwork & where they can find everyone in my family to charge me and probably them for mammogram, even though I was just here, seven months ago.  My turn for mammogram, not nervous a bit, been there done this. I had to remove my top & bra and put this paper shirt on over me then proceed in other room with the medical equipment, a nice lady put a little cute pink sticker on my left breast and away we went, just two views of my left booby & we were done, did not hurt a bit, it never does. You’re not suppose to do this, but I didn’t have anything to lose– so I asked to look at images, since I use to work at breast imaging center years ago, I thought I would be able to tell something, not really. I asked her knowing she wasn’t the radiologist, but knowing also she knew damn well what she was looking at, “Do you see any calcifications?” She was so sweet, she said “I don’t see any!” I said thank you, if anything you’ve at least eased my mind for a week, while I await the breast surgeon appt.

Well its Friday, Nov 11, 2011 & the dr’s office calls to confirm appt on Monday Nov 14th, I said yes, of course. Is there anyway I can have you or someone in his staff read me the report over the phone, she said the medical staff is not in, and she was just the receptionist and she was not allowed to—– but if I wanted to, I could pick up the report later that day. I said O.K. I was coming up there for dermatologist appt anyway. So my kids & hubby & I grabbed the report, it said BiRads 3, probably benign. No specific mass identified, but increased density of breast parenchyma. So still unsure of report, but knew my last report, seven months previous was BiRads 4, suspicious & required definite biopsy, so I knew that this one was better. Only problem, I had a new large lump on my left breast & was very afraid of that.

One week later it’s Monday Nov 14, 2011, I’m getting ready  very anxious for appt, its finally here, my D day and I get a phone call, doctor is sick and cxed appt, I rescheduled for next day, Tuesday Nov 15, 2011 hoping he would please be well, so I would just know something. It’s now Tuesday & no cancellation, so I arrive 15 minutes early with my hubby & mother and a waiting room full of people for my doctor, I’m sure the cxed ones from yesterday & today’s appts. This waiting room was big & a little bit better than the mammogram waiting room, at least here, there was a flat screen on wall and travel magazines to look at. Which actually made me think of Hawaii (Aulani)  even more, hoping I was healthy to make trip in less than 3 months.  About 30 minutes after my scheduled appt time, we see the doctor stroll past us, just coming to work (late) but I was just happy he was there at all.  An hour & a half after my appt time my doctor was ready to see me, my hubby & mom walked in room with me, I pulled off my top & bra and put another paper vest on open to the front, a little funny pulling my bra off in front of mother & hubby at same time, haha, LOL. Then Dr came in, real somber–sat down & read over my report in chart, it was so quiet, like it was taking him hours to read a few words (my fate). Then he stood up and said, you’re report looks good, asked if I had any complaints ” I thought yeah you cxed appt from yesterday, didn’t you know how important it was for me & my family, you were late today & no one was here Friday to read me my report, & you came in here all quiet frightening the bejesus out of me!” NO, just kidding—– what I really said was “Yes, I have a new lump on left booby, he checked it & said my rib/breast bone on left side was protruding  (maybe inflammation) & to stop pushing on it & have it checked in one month, if still there.  As far as my appts with him, he will see me again in six months, then if all is good with that one, a year at a time, WOOT!

OMG, I feel so lucky, very blessed, and yet, feel for the others in the waiting room, who weren’t given such good news…. All we can do, is donate money, pray & help find a cure & support breast cancer awareness! Thanks for listening to me whine & complain & be overly dramatic..Pity party is doneso. That’s all over with for now, time for fun, fun, fun Dawn to be back!

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