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We all have those days where we just aren’t feeling Mommy-ish. I will preface this by saying; I love my sweet, kind, funny family and cherish being a stay-at-home mom. But in “real life” most days, I and I’m sure you, if you’re being truly honest want to grab your children by their toes and swing them around till they throw-up and then, this is the real kicker, make them the target of a neighborhood water balloon fight. Yes, I’ve given this much fictional, yet personal amusement.

Let me justify this with an explanation; I’m mom to an intelligent 16 year old son whom loves to sass and as of yesterday had dyed hair that resembled a raccoon, blonde on top, natural brown on both sides; need I say more, oh but I will. I’m also mom to a beautiful nineteen year old daughter whom thinks she’s grown and loves to give me grief about anything and everything with a splash of side eye. Duh, doesn’t she realize moms have eyes in the back of their heads, so we see that shit!

I’m a total helicopter mom and I have been every single day of their life, poor kiddos. It’s the only way I know how to parent; it came naturally as I’m a smidgen OCD. That being said, it has been a long grind and has taken a lot out of me mentally and physically. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed and fortunate to have a healthy happy family life, a good mom is supposed to say that, right, lmao? BUT, sometimes, I just want to scream, pull my hair out, look intentionally nuts, so someone will take me off to Crazy-Town. I know other moms feel the same way, just by the expression on their face; it’s a cross between a blank stare and a half smirk, zombie like. It says to me they are on the verge of being: mentally deranged, demented or asylum bound, that look that only another mom has felt: defeated, shell-shocked, insane. I almost want to high-five her with Moscato and tell her it will all be o.k., with a few thousand more glasses, LOL. Woot!

The point of this awesome, highly intelligent article, it’s time to dish the dirt ladies, friends, sisters from another mister. The new movie “Bad Moms” looks hilarious and made me realize that most of us really do feel like we are on the cusp of delirium, so let’s shout from the roof tops our BAD Mom-ism’s. They happen, whether we keep them to ourselves or not, so don’t be shy, let them out, let them be free!

I’ll begin;

*I sometimes hide my favorite snacks from the kids and their friends, so they don’t inhale them before I have some. Doritos and Pistachios are mine…..
*I purposely hide in Target sometimes, just so I can drink my Venti, White Chocolate Mocha in peace. Woot!
*I have two Keurig machines in my home,  one in the kitchen and one in my Master Bathroom. Just so, I don’t wake the sleeping bears earlier and have to: listen, give advice or break up an argument before I’ve had my two cups of coffee. GUILTY!