On our recent visit to Disney World a few weeks ago, I experienced one of my most embarrassing moments EVER . The Beach Club Resort was our home away from home on this trip & Concierge Level to boot, ooh la la, or better yet HA HA HA (you’ll see why). 9:45 in the morning & my hubby rushed me & my tiara out the door for breakfast, usually served between 7-10a.m in the club lounge “Stone Harbor Club” I digress.

Lots of guests were out & about in the hallways, so being the nice southern folks we are, we wished them: GOOD MORNING, a few HEY Y’ALL, nice MOUSE EAR shout outs & a few WHAT UP, PRINCESS—-all the niceties you say whilst walking down the hall in a Disney hotel. Finally we arrived in the lounge & much to our chagrin, it was packed, no biggie, its set up like a buffet, we’ll wait our turn. Then all of a sudden, a woman cornered me, she got all up in my grill (personal space). My first thought– WOW a little early to be flirted with by a lady, I hadn’t even had my coffee yet, second thought– flattered all the same, third thought– does anyone else see this crazy lady!

I truly wish it had been one of those circumstances, instead the lady worked in the lounge & wanted to let me know “privately” that my maxi dress (long dress) had a huge tear/hole in the Buttocks region & I was literally showing my ass, to a very crowded concierge lounge. First thought—My hubby walked behind me the whole way here & normally stares at my rear daily & this one NOW permanently etched day in my brain, he didn’t look or notice a six-inch tear in my dress, second thought–I could die right here & now (Disney, no better place to croak-right) third thought–He really didn’t look at my butt…..Really

Needless to say I was mortified, thanked the sweet lady & said “No wonder, I felt a breeze walking down the hall. I made a joke to keep from ugly crying in front of everyone. I grabbed my dress from behind & practically sprinted down the hall, again with the niceties: GOOD MORNING (for you, not me), HEY Y’ALL, Nice MOUSE EAR shout outs & AHHHH–Suck it Princess, I’m in a hurry. I finally got to my room & could you believe the embarrassing morning got worse, I didn’t have my room key, my hubby did–back in the lounge. Bonus–my daughter stayed behind to take a shower, she must be finished, she’ll rescue me, NOT–I knocked on the door, Peyton, please let me in, Peyton, let your mother in, PLEASE, let me in, damn it! Then, out of no where, just like the movies–bright lights obstructed my vision & a heroin, yes I said “HEROIN” appeared—-all dressed in 1800’s New England period clothing to rescue me, it was the housekeeper with her glowing cart & her sparkly Master Room Key. She must have heard my cry, she asked no questions, just let me in the room. I must have looked pitiful grabbing my behind, now that I’ve thought about it, she probably thought I had to go #2.

The moral of this story: Women, don’t rush out for breakfast, or your ass — might literally show ( & for all you perverts, I had panties on & for once NOT granny panties)! Oh & the really ironic part of this “True Dawn Story”, it was so crowded in the lounge that morning, they extended breakfast time…………..

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